Boo Stephen Hunter!  As Teddy Roosevelt fans, we couldn’t help but be outraged by what the kill-joy writes in his Washington Post piece on the Nationals today:

The presidents’ race. You know, those four big-headed dweebs in their 1892 vaudeville shtick of faww-down-go-boom before every game! They stumble in from the outfield and stagger to a clearly scripted finish near the Nats dugout. It’s always the same, it’s never funny, it’s weirdly dismissive. I mean, if the city is known for anything, it’s known for the seriousness with which the game of politics is played. It’s a hard-knock, prisoners-will-be-shot milieu, so why is it dissed and turned into stooge’s comedy? The race is just as certainly disrespectful to those great men, Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt, who gave and fought and risked. Now they’re represented as spindly bodies without knee-joints sustaining gigantic alien heads that seem drawn not from history but from Japanese anime.

They are the worst attributes of modern marketing: cute, harmless, without mythology or morphology, charmless, awkward, silly, sexless and pointless. They belong on lunchboxes, and connect not with the grand parade of tragedy and triumph that is both America and baseball but with things like Alvin and the Chipmunks, bad CGI movies, gnomes and Beanie Babies. Cute is scarier than death. Watching them makes my teeth hurt, my head ache.

Wanna give the spoil-sport more hurtful teeth and a more severely aching head?  Then watch this…

Then consider the day a panther attacked Teddy.

Hey, Stephen Hunter, still think that’s not funny?  It’s hilarious!