Last week CBS News admitted that an episode of “Katie Couric’s Notebook” was cribbed by a since-fired producer from a column that Jeffrey Zaslow had written for the Wall Street Journal.  The episode professed Couric’s joy over getting her first library card.  In case the replacement producer is looking for more original, personalized thoughts to put in Katie’s mouth, he/she is welcome to steal any or all of the following:

Oh, how I love my AAA card.  I love getting 15% of Hertz rentals.  I love saving two bucks off the admission to amusement parks.  And I love getting recommended routes for road trips.

But most of all, dear [reader/viewer], I’m just nutty about jump starts.

I remember the first time — who can forget? — when my car wouldn’t start.  It was cold.  I needed stamps.  And my car wouldn’t turn over.  Instead of panicking, I cooly retrieved my Triple-A card from the forgotten recesses of my wallet, and made the call.  I waited to talk to someone for 5 minutes.  Then 10 minutes.  Then 15 minutes.  I didn’t care how long it took.  I liked the hold music.  It reminded me of simple, happer times, like when Dan Rather was anchor.  Then — aha! — a customer service rep with a vaguely Bangaloran accent picked up.  She asked for my AAA membership number.  Then she asked my name — that made me feel like a civilian, like you!  Then she wanted my VIN.  Then my car make and model.  And license plate number.  Then my weight.  Then she asked for my hair color.  And my social security number, and a few of my credit card numbers, including that three-digit security number.  Then she asked for my Amazon.com password.  And sure enough — within 90-120 minutes the tow truck came.  The driver took out jumper cables, connected my battery to his, red to red and black to black, I turned the ignition, and — vroooom — the car started.  It made me so very happy.  So very perky.

I smiled that day.  I still smile today, thinking of my AAA card.  Just glad I don’t have an NRA card.
For CBS Evening News, I’m Katie Couric.