YouTube? You Ain’t Seen Nuthin’ Yet!

July 25, 2007 at 1:50 pm

Monday’s Democratic presidential candidate debate set two important milestones:

  1. The establishment of YouTube as an official player in politics; and
  2. The establishment of the precedent that politicians will answer questions from anyone – even snowmen. In fact, with so many Senators running for president, soon we’ll hear this on Capitol Hill: “I’d like to thank my good friend, the distinguished snowman, Mr. Frosty.”

What’s next?

It’s only a matter of time before other hugely popular websites get in on the action and sponsor their own debates.

Here are likely suspects for hosting future presidential debates – and the questions candidates will probably get:

The Amazon Debate

  • What’s your favorite book?
  • What’s the last book you’ve read?
  • What’s on your nightstand?
  • Beach reading?
  • Book if you’re by yourself on a deserted island?
  • Book if you’re at 1% in the polls?
  • Book if you’re caught on video decking an intrusive photographer?
  • Do you only care whether your name is in a book’s index?
  • The last book you authored – who wrote it?
  • To qualify for free shipping, would you care to double the amount you’re already spending with us?
  • Why do you think that people who purchased your autobiography are also reading Dr. Seuss?

The Peapod Debate

  • Let’s see if you connect with average, every day Americans: How much does a gallon of milk cost?
  • How much with tax?
  • How much with your bonus shopper card?
  • How much if you add the driver’s tip?
  • How much if you deduct all the impulse purchases you won’t make by not being there in person?
  • How much if you deduct your cost of gas?
  • How much for a gallon of vodka, instead?

The Netflix Debate

  • Do you prefer widescreen or full screen?
  • Do you watch the bonus features?
  • With director’s commentary or without?
  • Would you ever use your DVD as a coaster?
  • Ready to return to Blockbuster?
  • Who should win Best Supporting Actress?
  • To begin the debate, would you like to thank the Academy?

The EBay Debate

  • How much would you pay for this portrait of dogs playing poker?
  • How much for this pink flamingo for your front lawn?
  • How much for the matching pink flamingo for your back yard?
  • How much would you pay for this double-wide?
  • How much for this portrait of Al Pacino in “Scarface”?
  • How much would you pay for this Pink Floyd album?
  • How much would you pay for this freeze-dried Lindsay Lohan spittle?
  • Does this look infected to you?

The Monster.com Debate

  • What’s your salary range?
  • Do you work well with others?
  • Why the gaps on your resume?
  • Why the gaps in your teeth?
  • Did you have spinach for lunch?
  • Any felonies you’d like to reveal?
  • This is a question from Washington Post opinion-shapers: How’s your cleavage?

The Drudge Report Debate

  • Hurricanes: Friends or foes?
  • Is it the heat or the humidity?
  • Will melting glaciers save this two-headed mouse?
  • Will melting glaciers save Hillary Clinton?
  • Aliens at Roswell, NM: Forced to land by heavy fog and light drizzle?
  • The Lost Continent of Atlantis: Did hurricanes from the Bermuda Triangle cause the demise?
  • Can unicorns survive gale force winds – and Hillary Clinton?
  • Hot enough for you today?

The Expedia Debate

  • Window or aisle?
  • May I see your ID?
  • Your preferred seatmate: fat guy or screaming baby?
  • Do you possess any firearms?
  • Do you think it’s funny to joke about airport security?
  • Can you tell us your best “Hi, Jack!” joke?
  • Have these bags been with you through the entire debate?

The Wonkette Debate

  • Do you like your snark with or without post-irony?
  • Which giggly naughty words make you laugh?
  • What dastardly terrorist does the name Obama sound like? How about Kucinich?
  • Can you make fun of this picture?
  • Does this look infected to you?

And, of course, the Google Debate: Tell us something we don’t know already know about you. Hint: It’s impossible.

laugh-out loud funny  YouTube

2 Comments »

  1. richard said,

    July 25, 2007 @ 2:12 pm

    And this will all work so well because so many of the candidates ARE tubes!

  2. Tommy Chong said,

    July 26, 2007 @ 10:11 am

    Then there’s the “NORML Debate”:

    * Papers or pipe?
    * Chronic or Panama Red?
    * Medicinal or recreational?
    * Hair test or piss test?
    * Jail or rehab?

    Cheers, dude!

    Tommy
    http://www.norml.org/

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