Quick question, no time to think.

You’re the captain of the football team.  The game’s beginning.  You lead your squad to the middle of the field.  It’s the opening coin toss.  You call heads.  Heads it is.  The referee is curious: is it your preference to receive the opening kickoff.  Or given your druthers, would you be of the mind to kick the ball away?

OK, what do you do?  WHAT DO YOU DO?
I bet you elect to receive.

Now, here’s former senior Clinton administration official Hillary Clinton last night:

“Well, can I just point out that in the last several debates, I seem to get the first question all the time. And I don’t mind. I — you know, I’ll be happy to field them….”

Good that she doesn’t mind.  Even if her allegation was always the case — and Tim Russert pointed out on the news this morning that it isn’t — it’s hardly a hardship to get the ball first.  In fact, it’s good fortune and good strategy.

Now, let’s pick up the rest of Hillary’s quote:

“… but I do find it curious, and if anybody saw “Saturday Night Live,” you know, maybe we should ask Barack if he’s comfortable and needs another pillow. (Laughter, boos.) I just find it kind of curious that I keep getting the first question on all of these issues. But I’m happy to answer it.”

There she goes again — using “Saturday Night Live” as a crutch.  Actually, there was another part of the debate that reminded me even more of a SNL skit — a classic one from when the show was funny.

RUSSERT: Before the primary on Tuesday, on Sunday, March 2, there’s an election in Russia for the successor to President Putin. What can you tell me about the man who’s going to be Mr. Putin’s successor?

CLINTON: Well, I can tell you that he’s a hand-picked successor, that he is someone who is obviously being installed by Putin, who Putin can control, who has very little independence, the best we know. You know, there’s a lot of information still to be acquired. …

… RUSSERT: Who will it be? Do you know his name?

CLINTON: Medvedev — whatever.

The transcript doesn’t do full justice to Hillary’s fumbling and mumbling the name.  But it does come close to reminding us of the November 8, 1975 “Saturday Night Live”:

[ Music: “Jaws Theme” ]

[ open on interior, apartment ]

[ doorbell sounds ]

Woman #1: [ moves to chain-locked door ] Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Ramilarghh??

Woman #1: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber..

Woman #1: Plumber? I didn’t ask for a plumber. Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Telegram.

Woman #1: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment.

[ unlocks door, and opens it. The head of the shark appears, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the hallway as she screams. ]

[ SUPER: “Jaws II” ]

[ dissolve to Sheriff’s Office, Sheriff and Matt Hooper looking over a three-foot long metal tub covered with a white cloth ]

Matt Hooper: [ looks under cloth and winces ] Oh, my God!

Sheriff: What was it?

Matt Hooper: Land shark. The cleverest species of them all.

Sheriff:

[ dissolve to Woman #2 in her apartment ]

[ Music: “Jaws Theme ]

[ a knock at the door ]

Woman #2: [ appoaches the door ] Yes?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Arlsbergerhh??

Woman #2: Who?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Johnannesburrrr??

Woman #2: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Flowers.

Woman #2: Flowers? From whom?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber, ma’am..

Woman #2: I don’t need a plumber. You’re that clever shark, aren’t you?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Candygram.

Woman #2: Candygram, my foot! Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You’re the shark, and you know it.

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] I’m only a dolphin, ma’am..

Woman #2: A dolphin? Well.. okay..

Now that’s comedy you can quote.