And now, the last in our series of Superdelegate profiles, a rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’ve been focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention.  Today’s superdelegate, oddly, has been in neither television nor film — but in book form.  And we don’t believe he’s a Democrat.  So we probably won’t win a Pulitzer Prize for this series.  Then again, we’ve never really been good at Pulitzering, so no awards at stake.  Now, for the final time, in the same space in which we once profiled Ambassador Jar-Jar Binks and Mayor McCheese, please welcome from “Potomac Beach,” Rep. Charles Lattan, and his superdelegate thoughts:

Lattan was just discussing that very issue with Kentrell “Alt” DeLete.
 
“Kentrell, my boy, have a seat,” Lattan said, waving his arm to the open chair across from his faux mahogany desk in his new downtown Boise office, the home of Charles Lattan & Associates, Political Consultants.
 
“What’s on your mind, boss?” DeLeet said, slumping into the chair and loosening his tie.
 
“I thought maybe we’d send out a press release announcing my availability to the media to talk about whom I’m considering supporting as a superdelegate.”
 
“Superdelegate?” DeLeet asked, his eyebrows steepled. “I thought only the Democrats had superdelegates.”
 
“Republicans don’t?” Lattan asked, stupefied.
 
“Not that I’m aware of.”
 
“Well, get aware,” Lattan said. “Get McCain’s folks on the line and tell them I’m available to speak at the convention, while you’re at it. And schedule a press conference announcing I’m endorsing McCain.”
 
“Um, don’t you think … pardon me for saying so, sir, but given that McCain is the presumptive nominee, wouldn’t that be fodder for being made fun of in the blogosphere, like on Extreme Mortman, for instance?” DeLeet stammered.
 
“Hmmmm … you may be right,” Lattan conceded, cupping his chin in his palm. “Well, shoot, how about I announce I’m running for Larry Craig’s seat?”
 
“With what credentials, sir?” DeLeet said, suddenly emboldened with media savvy. “You’ve been out of Congress a long time, and we have no clients. I’m the only associate of Charles Lattan & Associates.”
 
“But I have a stance on issues that Idahoans can be proud of. He’s just got a wide stance.”
 
“Now there’s a slogan!” DeLeet said, bounding out of his chair. “Vote Lattan. A Narrow Stance On The Issues, Not A Wide Stance In A Stall With Toilet Tissues.”
 
“Love it!” Lattan said. “Let’s run!”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough western adventure movie sensation “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.”

Senator Ransom Stoddard’s body of work and career can be summed up by this nomination speech by Dutton Peabody:

“He is a man who came to us not packing a gun, but carrying instead a bag of law books. Yes, he is a lawyer, and a teacher, the first west of the Rosy Buttes. But more important, he is a man who has come to be known throughout this territory in the last few weeks as a great champion of law and order.  Ladies and gentlemen, I nominate as your delegate and mine, to the Congress at Washington, the Honorable Ransom Stoddard!”

Law books?  A teacher?  Honorable?  Clearly a Barack Obama superdelegate.

Previous profile: Treasury Secretary William Cleary from “The Wedding Crashers.”
Next profile: Senator Mon Mothma from “Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough comedy movie sensation “The Wedding Crashers.”

William Cleary is a U.S. Treasury Secretary with a spacious home on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. Despite a tough-as-nails demeanor, his leads a dysfunctional family.  Nevertheless, he’s seen a future President.  At his daughter’s wedding, he says to a guest (whom he doesn’t realize is crashing the event): “A sailor? Good man! Sit down. You didn’t happen to catch my speech on the Paraguayan debt and money supply issue did you?”  Attention to details like that captures the spirit and appreciation of Bill Clinton’s wife Hillary.

Previous profile: Senator Mavros from “Executive Decision.”
Next profile: Senator Ransom Stoddard from “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough action adventure thriller “Executive Decision.”

U.S. Senator Mavros, a potential presidential candidate, flew into Tuzla, Bosnia in 1996 with Sheryl Crow and Sinbad.  There was no greeting ceremony.  And they basically were told to run to their cars.  Everyone else was told to sit on their bulletproof vests.  And they came in, in an evasive maneuver.  Harrowing, near-death experiences like that will forever endear Sen. Mavros to Hillary Clinton.

Previous profile: Sen. Kevin Keeley from “The Birdcage.”
Next profile: Treasury Secretary William Cleary from “The Wedding Crashers.”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough comedy movie sensation move “The Birdcage.”

Kevin Keeley is a proud conservative Senator from Ohio who listens to Rush Limbaugh.  He is Vice President of the Coalition for Moral Order.  He has this exchange with his wife: “I’m so glad I got on Jackson’s bandwagon instead of Dole. Dole is just too, too…” Louise Keeley: “Dark.”  Senator Kevin Keeley: “Well, I was gonna say liberal, but he’s dark too.”  He also recognizes that “people in this country aren’t interested in details. They don’t even trust details. The only thing they trust is headlines.”  When Barack Obama talk broadly about reaching out to all Americans, he clearly has Sen. Keeley in mind — and thus his support as a superdelegate.

Previous profile: Ambassador Robert Thorn from “The Omen.”
Next profile: Sen. Mavros from “Executive Decision.”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough horror thriller sensation move “The Omen.”

Robert Thorn is America’s Ambassador to Britain.  His son is the Antichrist.  An Italian priest warns Robert about his son and quotes an old prophecy about the Antichrist that Damien allegedly fills.  Robert Thorn, however, will have none of it.  Robert Thorn’s refusal to see the writing on the wall, even as doom looms, likewise keeps him firmly in Hillary Clinton’s camp.

Previous profile: Senator John “Bluto” Blutarsky from “National Lampoon’s Animal House.”
Next profile:  Senator Kevin Keeley from “The Birdcage.”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough comedy movie sensation “National Lampoon’s Animal House.”

John “Bluto” Blutarsky is an abject, drunken degenerate with a style all his own.  After seven years of college at Faber, sporting a GPA of 0.0, he goes on to become a United States Senator.  Sen. Blutarsky has a Churchillian spirit of never surrendering, evidence by this remark: “Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” That’s the kind of fighting instinct that Hillary Clinton needs to overtake Barack Obama in the late primaries, and puts Blutarsky in her camp.

Previous profile: President James Dale from “Mars Attacks!”
Next profile: Ambassador Robert Thorn from “The Omen”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate whom they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough sci-fi comedy movie sensation “Mars Attacks!”

President James Dale seeks to gain maximum public relations points by establishing friendly relations with Martians. He is persuaded to be peaceful by his advisors.  He has the sort of audaciously bold instincts that Hillary Clinton displayed when she brought peace to Ireland to Kosovo, therefore he’s squarely in her camp.

Previous profile: President Laura Roslin from “Battlestar Galactica.”
Next profile: Senator John “Bluto” Blutarsky from “Animal House.”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate who they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough sci-fi TV thriller sensation “Battlestar Galactica.”

Laura Roslin is President of the Twelve Colonies. At the time of the Cylon attack on the Colonies, Roslin is the Secretary of Education under President Richard Adar and has worked with him since he was mayor of Caprica City.  Roslin appears to have been in a romantic relationship with Adar, which fell apart when Roslin successfully defused a large-scale teachers strike. Adar (who assumed Roslin would fail at breaking the strike through peaceful means) demanded Roslin’s resignation, citing the fact that he wanted to use force against the teachers in order to intimidate the other unions on Caprica from striking.  Roslin refused to resign and vowed to fight for her job, as she left to go to a doctor’s appointment and to the decommissioning ceremony for the Galactica. At her doctor’s appointment, Roslin is told that she has terminal breast cancer and a year to live. Regardless of the news, Roslin goes to the ceremony. Upon leaving the ceremony, the Cylons attack the twelve colonies, wiping out nearly all of humanity in the process. During the attack, she receives and responds to an automatic signal, and is informed that she is the highest ranking (and possibly last remaining) surviving member of the Presidential line of succession to respond. She was 43rd in the line of succession to the president. She is therefore sworn in as President.  Despite acting as President for two terms, Roslin has never been democratically elected President by popular accord.  That’s been a blemish on President Roslin’s record, just like it would be a blemish if Hillary Clinton got the Democratic presidential nomination based on superdelegates, not pledged delegates.  Roslin is acutely aware of that — and thus supports Barack Obama.

Previous profile: President James Marshall from “Air Force One’
Next profile: President  James Dale from “Mars Attacks!”

We continue our special in-depth educational series, Meet Your Superdelegates. A rare chance to get to know specific superdelegates who will be deciding the Democratic presidential nominee. We’re focusing on party elders, government officials, senior advisors, and other high profile politicians who feature prominently in television and film. And we boldly speculate who they will back at the Democratic convention. Today’s superdelegate profile comes from the breakthrough action adventure thriller sensation “Air Force One.”

President James Marshall takes a tough stance against terrorism and then becomes a hostage himself when Air Force One is taken over by terrorists from Kazakhstan, led by Ivan Korshunov, who demand the release of their fascistic leader General Radek. Marshall seems to escape from the plane in an emergency capsule yet is actually hiding on board. He silently kills a member of the terrorist group before establishing contact with F-15’s to engage the hijacked plane. As passengers escape by parachute, Marshall is captured by Ivan and forced to release General Radek, setting in motion an international incident. Marshall notes, “Never again will I allow our political self-interest to deter us from doing what we know to be morally right. Atrocity and terror are not political weapons, and to those who would use them, your day is over. We will never negotiate. We will no longer tolerate and we will no longer be afraid. It’s your turn to be afraid.”  Clearly Marshall would not seek one-on-one meetings with thuggish leaders of outlaw nations, which makes him opposed to Barack Obama style diplomacy and puts him — perhaps grudingly — in Hillary Clinton’s camp.

Previous profile: President Rufus T. Firefly from “Duck Soup”
Next profile: President Laura Roslin from “Battlestar Galactica”