From the Examiner’s Yeas & Nays column:

Clemens: Juiced on love

From today’s hearing before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform:

Roger Clemens: “If I’m guilty of anything, it’s of being too trusting of everyone, wanting to see the best in everyone and being too nice to everyone. If I’m considered being ignorant of that, than so be it.”

So what’s Nancy Pelosi’s House of Representatives up to today?

Would you believe, holding a hearing on baseball and steroids?

Why yes, yes they are.

Here’s Rep. Diane Watson of the House Government Reform Committee on C-SPAN’s “Washington Journal” this morning, answering host Peter Slen’s most excellent question: “Why does Congress care about baseball and steroids?”:

“This is the American pasttime, great pasttime.  It’s a game that really exemplifies who we are as a country and as a people.  As you know, our youth look up to our celebrities and the top of that list are baseball players, I feel.  And so, it’s important to us that we don’t sit by and allow an issue that has impacted baseball for an era to continue, because it breaks down the faith and the trust.

“Baseball players are role models. And so, Congress feels that it has a duty to take a look and investigate.”

Yes, baseball players are role models.  But with this flimsy foundation for a highly-visible Congressional investigation you have to wonder whether Congressmen are role models, too.

Compare Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys …

… with Hillary Clinton of the Democratic Party.

Now there’s a proven winning strategy.

Earlier this week, the New York Times’ John Harwood exclusively observed this to Extreme Mortman …

The Washington Redskins are the Mike Huckabee of the NFL.

Judging by the results of both the latest Iowa polls and today’s Dallas Cowboys game, however, it looks like Huckabee and the ‘Skins now are headed in opposite directions.

So rather than cite what Mike Huckabee had to say today on “Meet the Press” or on the campaign trail, it’s a better use of our time to quote Washington’s newest rising star, Redskins quarterback Todd Collins.

Here he is in USA Today:

Todd Collins earned a degree in political science from the University of Michigan, and is intrigued by the presidential political process this time of the year.

“I know it’s still early,” the Washington Redskins quarterback says, “but the Iowa caucuses are in just a few days, right? And then New Hampshire?”

Right.

“So we’ll just have to see what shakes out. It’s going to be real interesting, though. I’m just kind of enjoying it as a spectator right now.”

Being that Collins loves almost all things Massachusetts, what does he think about the chances of his state’s former governor, Republican Mitt Romney?

“Well, he did OK in Massachusetts, but I’m still waiting to see what happens in the caucuses,” Collins says.

On the Democratic side, Collins agrees with the idea that a woman (Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton) or a black man (Sen. Barack Obama) might win the nomination for president and have a credible shot at the White House is a welcome chance to watch history.

Clinton’s chances? “I guess she’s still leading in the national polls, but it’s so early,” he says. “Could she do it? Sure.”

Could Obama do it? “I don’t see why not. It seems like he has a lot of growing support out there right now.”

That works for us.  With Collins leading the Redskins into the playoffs, we’ll take anything he says about the presidential campaign as gospel.  He certainly bests the last Redskin quarterback who ventured into politics, Heath Shuler.  And as burgundy-and-gold fervor sweeps the nation, perhaps Hillary Clinton might even consider changing her name to Hillary Clinton Portis.

From the O.J. Simpson story in Las Vegas:

The items in the room where the alleged robbery took place included baseballs, plaques, a photo featuring J. Edgar Hoover and a mobile phone, a police report said.

A photo with the Juice and Hoover?  We’d rob for that, too!  And it’s got Dolphin great Larry Csonka? Good gravy!  We must have a peek…

A few weeks ago I wrote a piece for the Politico about the rash of waste-of-time Congressional investigations:

What is Congress doing to get back in our favor? Focusing like a laser beam on Iraq, health care, the 2-year-old recovery from Hurricane Katrina? Would you believe, investigating crooked NBA referees? … Is there any standard by which we measure the need for congressional attention to damaging scandals? Apparently it’s a low threshold when sports are involved.

That threshold got even lower yesterday with a congressional hearing into — wait for it, wait for it …OK, here’s the punchline –  ancient NFL legends who aren’t feeling well.

Let’s go right to the best part of Yeas & Nays’ coverage of the hearing:

Ditka then seemed to take issue with the whole exercise, declaring: “You people have more important things to do than what we’re doing. Fix it, and everyone will go away, including me.”
But Sen. Byron Dorgan, D-N.D., pointed out that the “baseball folks said no one should be holding hearings on steroids, either,” although those hearings became the impetus for change.
Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., seemed to take Ditka’s side, saying, “Most Americans would look at this and say, ‘Wow, what is Congress doing getting into this?’ ” But he went on to say he’s prepared to introduce legislation if the NFL doesn’t act.

Kerry is correct — why is Congress getting involved?  It’s gotta be an incredibly small sliver of America’s population that can call itself retired NFL players on disability.   But the need for legislation?  Perhaps Kerry might want to solve his home team Patriots’ spying problems first.  Now there’s a cause for congressional hearings.

Forget Hillary Clinton’s health care plan.

Want to hear the silliest health care idea from the presidential campaign trail so far?

John Edwards:

“And to show Congress just how serious I am, on the first day of my administration, I will submit legislation that ends health care coverage for the president, all members of Congress, and all senior political appointees in both branches of government on July 20th, 2009 - unless we have passed universal health care reform.”

Wait a minute.  Cutting off health care for executive branch employees sends a serious message to Congress?  That’s not serious, that’s goofy.  By the way, if you presume that John Edwards will be the next president, you further presume that he’ll want his own staff to work without health care.  We’ll let him work out those staff-management issues on his own.  There’s a bigger issue at play: Attracting top talent to serve in the government, something we assume Edwards would want.  Political appointees already work in fear of being subpoenaed before Congress for political show trials.  Now he also wants to take away their health care?  Heck, let’s go for broke and show how punitive we can be: No political appointees can eat lunch until worldwide hunger is solved.  Take that!

Meantime, is Congress really the best venue for exhibiting how serious you are on health care?  Consider this:

Gale Sayers will join Mike Ditka in Washington on Tuesday to testify in front of the Senate Commerce committee regarding the much-maligned pension/disability benefits for aging NFL pioneers.

Ah, yes.  That broad cross section of America that falls in that category, aging NFL pioneers. There they go again, tackling the big problems of our day.  Indeed: health care for all!  Solved!  Unless, of course, Gale Sayers or Mike Ditka end up working in an Edwards Administration.

Better busta move to today’s Politico.  Bada bing!

… was given last night by Barack Obama.

Asked whether, if he were president now, he’d honor Barry Bonds in the White House, Obama said:

“First of all he’s still got to hit one more. .. He hasn’t done it yet, so we’ll answer the question when he does.”

Mere hours before Bonds hit his record-setting homerun, Obama hadn’t figured out his thoughts on whether he’s a hero or a villain?  What difference would it have made before or after number 756?  How would that additional homerun have affected Obama’s thoughts?

Baseball may seem trivial next to, say, bombing our allies in Pakistan — but the Barry Bonds story does present fascinating and profound social issues for America.   Many Americans have strong opinions on him.  Apparently Obama is not among them.

A strike out for the Senator.

Sam Brownback is getting sacked online for telling the Wisconsin Republican Party that Peyton Manning is the “greatest quarterback, maybe, in NFL history.”  Wisconsin, of course, being Brett Favre hallowed ground.

Wisconsin is quickly developing a reputation for clipping presidential candidates.  Who amongst us cannot forget John Kerry talking about “Lambert Field”?

But the fact is, football and politics seem to share a troubled history.  (My old boss Jack Kemp excluded, of course.)

Football lore has Richard Nixon once designing a play for the George Allen-coached Redskins.  The flank against San Francisco lost 13 yards.  Far worse than Brownback’s rhetorical fumble.