Country, bird — what’s the difference if you’re Hillary Clinton? At least she got her name attached to the Sarah Palin turkey video on Memorandum.

Speaking of that video (and here it is again) …

… we asked loyal Extreme Mortman reader Al Mendelsohn of Print Smart to do some intrepid reporting for us.  We asked Al to find a turkey expert to explain how a turkey is slaughtered.  Al fearlessly hit the streets and brought back our new senior turkey correspondent Chris Cavey, Chairman of the Baltimore County Republican Party and First Vice Chairman of the Maryland Republican Party.

Chris: What can you tell us about turkey slaughtering?

Live turkey goes into the funnel head hangs out.  Throat is slit and turkey bleeds out.  If you go to a turkey farm and want a live turkey for Thanksgiving this is how it happens.  From the bleed out it goes into a scald bath then is plucked. After plucking it is gutted head and feet removed.  Heart, liver, and gizzard is saved balance removed.  Gizzard cleaned and then everything thrown back into the body cavity.  You are ready to go home and good a fresh turkey.  They are much better and typically moister than frozen due to the fact the meat never contracts and expands with the freezing process.
Now you know.  I have participated in this type of butchering operation before. (Turkey, chicken basically the same.)

Or as Pearl Jam once sang, Don’t call me slaughter.

In the interest of thoroughness in investigative reporting, we wanted to close the loop on one thing.  Sarah Palin.  Specifically, Sarah Palin, pool-side.

Last week we cited this Yeas & Nays’ item about Gov. Palin in Miami at the Republican governors meeting:

A Yeas & Nays spy spotted Palin and an aide poolside at Miami’s Mandarin Oriental hotel (the GOP meetings are being held a mile away at the Intercontinental).

Rather than a bathing suit, the Pride of Wasilla was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, thanks to the windy, overcast weather.

Naturally, we wanted a picture of that.

Well, Celebuzz comes through…

Yeas & Nays reports …

According to news reports, Gov. Sarah Palin skipped the lunchtime political briefing at the Republican Governors Association meeting in Miami on Wednesday, preferring to do an interview with CNN. But she did manage to get in some pool time later in the day.

A Yeas & Nays spy spotted Palin and an aide poolside at Miami’s Mandarin Oriental hotel (the GOP meetings are being held a mile away at the Intercontinental).

Rather than a bathing suit, the Pride of Wasilla was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, thanks to the windy, overcast weather.

Pity it wasn’t nicer weather.  She does have alternative swimwear.

We like this part of the Sarah Palin drama:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin called her critics cowards and jerks Friday for deriding her anonymously and insisted she never asked for the expensive wardrobe purchased for her use on the presidential campaign.

“I never asked for anything more than a Diet Dr Pepper once in a while.”

The Dr. Pepper reference brings back fond memories of this ad from our youth …

Of course, looking back 30 years later, all those folks in the ad fawning over Dr. Pepper could have easily been dancing to Barack Obama as well.

They key to tonight’s big “Monday Night Football” matchup between the Redskins and the Steelers?

Simple: How much air time will Redskins fan Hank Williams, Jr. get.

Here’s what he’s been up to recently…

We noted recently that John McCain …

proclaimed that he was campaigning “on behalf of Joe the Plumber and Rose the Teacher and Phil the Bricklayer and Wendy the Waitress.”

Today Dana Milbank reports this about Sarah Palin’s appearance in Leesburg, Virginia:

[Palin] proceeded to list some people whose money the Democrats would take away along with Joe the Plumber’s: “Doug the Barber and Christine the Florist, and Cindy the Citizen. We’ve got Joe the Plumber’s Son, Jack the Hunter, Vickie the Realtor. One of my favorites last night, it was ‘I am Joe Mama.’”

Which made us wonder, if Palin is going the comedy route with the Joe the Plumber premise, why not throw in the old Larry “Bud” Mehlman character Kenny the Gardener? Alas, there’s no YouTube video of Kenny the Gardener, so instead we’ll have to present Larry the Cable Guy…

While we’re waiting for the verdict in the Ted Stevens trial, let’s consider other big moments in the Senator’s political history …

AP headline smirk:

“Lieberman skirts issue of Palin’s readiness”

Sure sounds like far more cheers than boos in St. Louis when Sarah Palin drops the hockey puck to start last night’s game in St. Louis between the Blues and the Los Angeles Kings.