Quick question: If you like your presidential candidates saying “global warming,” would you have appreciated more the April 26 Democratic debate or the May 3 Republican debate?

Likewise, if you prefer your presidential candidates saying “climate change” instead, would the Democratic or Republican debate be more to your liking?

The results — and the rhetoric — might surprise you.

April 26 Democrats:

• Hillary Clinton:  “I believe America is ready now for universal health care. It is ready for a new energy policy. It is ready to deal with global climate change.”
• John Edwards:  “On the issue of climate change, we ought to cap carbon emissions in the United States.”
• Bill Richardson: “I would have a major initiative on climate change.”
• Dennis Kucinich: “I think it’s important that we move away from global warming and global warring.”

May 3 Republicans:

• Duncan Hunter:  “Global warming and the need to be energy-independent gives us a great opportunity.”
• John McCain and Jim Gilmore both mentioned “energy independence.” 
• Mike Huckabee split the difference:  “The most important thing about global warming is this. Whether humans are responsible for the bulk of climate change is going to be left to the scientists.”

It’s been far too long since Whac-a-mole made a White House appearance.

Fortunately, just like that dastardly gopher in ”Caddyshack,” the mole popped out of the hole today.

And for Dana Perino at today’s White House press briefing, it was a Cinderella Story:

Q   Does the President believe the tone is appropriate here, sharp words from this podium, sharp words from Senator Reid? Can that help get anything done?

MS. PERINO: Look, far be it from us to let us be “Whac-a-Mole,” and get whacked about the head and not respond.

Perino also used the waterhose when talking about Sheryl Crow and Laurie David nagging Karl Rove over global warming:

PERINO: We have big climate change challenges ahead of us, and I just wish that they would channel some of that Hollywood energy into something constructive, rather than baseless finger pointing.

It’s in the hole!  It’s in the hole!

Intriguing anecdote about last night’s White House Correspondents Association dinner captured by the Washington Post’s Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts:

… singer Sheryl Crow and “Inconvenient Truth” producer Laurie David walked over to Table 92 at the Hilton Washington to chat with Karl Rove — and the resulting exchange was suitably heated.
“I am floored by what I just experienced with Karl Rove,” David reports. “I went over to him and said, ‘I urge you to take a new look at global warming.’ He went zero to 100 with me. … I’ve never had anyone be so rude.”
Rove’s version: “She came over to insult me and she succeeded.”
Things got so hot that Crow stepped in to defuse the situation and then got into it with Rove herself. “You work for me,” she told the presidential adviser, according to singed bystanders. “No,” was his response. “I work for the American people.”

I say it’s an intriguing anecdote not only because of Laurie David’s and Sheryl Crow’s simplistic “West Wing” view of the world, in which celebrities simply saunter over to officials and create new government policy because of witty phrasing.  But also because of an incident I had earlier last night with Laurie David’s wife, Larry David.  Or actually, an innocent incident I tried to have.

Larry David was greeting folks at one of the pre-parties.  I actually enjoy David’s comedy, if not his politics.  So I thought I’d to say hello.

Right in front of him, I was stopped by one of David’s handlers.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“Just a fan.  I’d like to say hi,” I replied and gave her my name.

“Well, I’ve never heard of you,” she said, and told me to get lost.

I obliged.  It’s not really a lifelong dream of mine to shake Larry David’s hand, so I wasn’t  up to contesting the directive.  I just wasn’t sure what harm it would cause.

But seeing what Sheryl Crow told Rove — “You work for me” — I can’t help but think that because of all that cash I spend every month getting HBO, surely Larry David works for me?

I want a refund.

UPDATE: From today’s Examiner’s Yeas & Nays column:

A woman who appeared to be with the Davids was among the most protective of the handlers on site. Upbraiding a man for trying to take a photo of the couple, she said, “Excuse me, sir, I’ve told you five times now.” His reply: “That’s life.”

The Washington Post seems very concerned these days about government waste.  Actually, government waist — as in Al Gore’s.

Al Kamen:

At times the book, due out May 21, has the feel of a “goodbye to all that” reminiscence, we’re told. Well, keep an eye on the waistline just in case.

Sunday’s paper:

Yes, we’ve certainly seen a lot of Al Gore lately. And there’s a lot of Al Gore to see. Calling Planet Girth!

Of course, Tom Shales wrote this after the Academy Awards:

Al Gore, looking larger than life, took to the stage twice, once to chew the fat with Leonardo DiCaprio.

If Gore runs for president, perhaps they might trot out a Super-Sized Tuesday joke.

John McCain announces for president on the Late Show With David Letterman.

Arnold Schwarzenegger announces for governor on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.

John Edwards announces for president on the Daily Show with John Stewart.

That just leaves Al Gore announcing for president on The Weather Channel.

Apparently, not much.  New Media Strategies looked at Web 2.0 buzz surrounding Al Gore’s Academy Award win for best documentary, on global warming.

As of 3 p.m. Monday, ten video clips of Al Gore at the Oscars had been uploaded to YouTube.  But none of them had gone viral, meaning no one was e-mailing them around, or received any traction online.  A total of only 384 views for all 10 clips.

Gore’s online social networking numbers are a bit a bit better, but not by much.  Comparing the numbers for the “Draft Gore” MySpace page and the five largest Gore Facebook groups before the Oscars (1 p.m. Saturday) and after (3 p.m. Monday), we found a bump of 8%.  That’s respectable, but the hard numbers are tiny: friends/members increased from 4,649 to 5,019, up 370.

With Web 2.0 dominating politics these days, that might not be enough to launch an Al Gore presidential campaign.  Oscars may mean something to the billion TV viewers, but for online activists, it’s less impressive.

Today’s “Reliable Source” column in the Washington Post has more.  Click here.

I know it’s tough to say anything more about Al Gore that hasn’t already been said about cardboard, but consider this additional fact.

The Washington Post this morning reports on Gore’s travels around the world to promote “An Inconvenient Truth,” up for best documentary at tonight’s Academy Awards.  Gore, or, as the Post says he’s called, the Goracle, “worked the premieres in Edinburgh, Helsinki, Oslo, Stockholm, Sydney, Hong Kong, Amsterdam, Zurich, Brussels, Berlin and Tokyo.”

Now whether or not you agree with the thrust of Gore’s global warming message, there’s some charm in internationally crusading for a cause you believe in.

Contrast Gore’s nobility with Bill Clinton.  We learned in Friday’s Post story about Clinton’s multi-million dollar speaking gigs that, “Two-thirds of the former president’s speaking money has come from foreign sources.”

Wonder if, instead of Gore, it were Clinton on stage accepting an Oscar tonight, he’d charge a speaking fee.

Drudge and Glenn Reynolds were all over this hilarious irony:

“HOUSE HEARING ON ‘WARMING OF THE PLANET’ CANCELED AFTER SNOW/ICE STORM.”

Like a permalink to the permafrost, inside the icy and treacherous Beltway today this theme is picking up steam. Check out this graphic, now making the slushy rounds of Washington:

Any thoughts on whether (or weather) this is the dumbest question ever asked by a member of the White House press corps?

From today’s briefing with Tony Snow:

Q Presidents may not be able to predict the weather or change the weather, but is there anything that the President has been either briefed on about the current cold wave across the country, or any federal resources that are being brought to bear?

And just for the record, here’s Snow’s response: “I don’t know. I’ll find out.”

Actually, Tony, please don’t.

Associated Press flash:

Delegates to an international climate conference say more than 100 nations agree that global warming is “very likely” caused by humans.

Fine.  But I still blame this guy.