Headed to the National Mall for the Smithsonian Folklife Festival this holiday weekend?

Then make sure you’re there Thursday, July 3.
NASA is one of the featured programs — and at 2:15 p.m. there’s a panel discussion on “New Media: Reaching a New Generation.”  One of the panelists: Extreme Mortman’s own Extreme Mortman.

Click here for the exciting details.  Come by and say hello.

We learn from Fishbowl that both the Washington Post and New York Times are raising their prices.

Which gives us a good opportunity to remind our loyal readers that we remain free.

We don’t do those fancy newsstand or home delivery prices like those big city big media folks.  We’re free free free, the way the Good Lord intended adolescent snark to be.

Remember, you have options in news and typos.

How do we compare to the competition?  It’s a simple equation.  Extreme Mortman: Less Pulitzers, more of this:

We were so pleased to see the Club for Growth’s new Dumb Laws site (via Instapundit).

A wonderful venture.  One small step for a blog, one giant leap for mankind.

For the staff at the glass-enclosed nerve center of Extreme Mortman, “Dumb Laws” brings back happy memories.  Almost exactly ten years ago today, we launched a similar exercise for The Hotline.

Here are excerpts from the June 23, 1998 Hotline:

OUT OF THE LOOP:STATE LEGISLATURES, 1998 SESSIONS IN REVIEW

Tired of those stale jokes about inside-the-beltway
goofiness?  Well, they aren’t all brain surgeons in the
hinterlands.  Here’s what state lawmakers were up to in 1998.
ET TU, CROUTON?
The California Legislature restricted restaurants from
preparing Caesar salads (item from New York Times Magazine).
SEMPER HI FI
The Missouri legislature considered legislation to restrict
loud car stereos (item from AP).
THE BIGGEST GOURMET BREAKTHROUGH TO HIT WEST VIRGINIA SINCE
OLIVE GARDEN
Under a law passed by the West Virginia legislature,
motorists who run down the odd critter can legally take it home
for dinner (item from AP).
INCUMBENCY PROTECTION
Arizona State Rep. Richard Kyle (R) introduced a bill to
raise an attack on a politician from simple assault to aggravated
assault (item from Arizona Daily Star).
EVENTUALLY THEY CAN SOLVE THE NATIONAL DEBT JUST BY COVERING
THE WASHINGTON WIZARDS
Georgia state Rep. Chuck Sims suggested taxing media outlets
on stories derived from crime stories (item from Broadcasting &
Cable).
IF THEY CAN’T FINISH THEIR LAST MEAL, THEY GET IT WRAPPED UP
IN A PBS TOTE BAG
In crafting a death sentence bill, Iowa Rep. Keith Kreiman
suggested that executions should be broadcast live on Iowa Public
Television (item from AP).
STROM THURMOND WAS A CHARACTER WITNESS FOR BOTH
The Arizona Senate debated whether to call dilophosaurus or
Sonorasaurus the official state dinosaur (item from AP).
YOU LOOK DELMARVELOUS.  ABSOLUTELY DELMARVELOUS
A bill by Maryland Rep. Richard Coburn called for a
referendum in nine Eastern Shore counties on whether to secede
from the rest of the state (item from Washington Post).
BUT THEY’RE STILL FREE TO SNEEZE ALL OVER THE SALAD BAR
Georgia Rep. Dorothy Pelote (D) wanted to make it illegal
for grocery store baggers to lick their fingers (item from
Statescape.)
EXPERTS CALL IT A CRY FOR HELP
The Kansas House made polka and square dances the official
state dances (item from “Dennis Miller Live”).
AND WHEN THE SCHOOL BAND PLAYS THE 1812 OVERTURE, THAT’S
ACTUAL CANNON FIRE
A bill by Florida Senator Bill Turner required that children
be exposed to Western classical music (item from Turner release).
ELVIS MAY BE DEAD, BUT HIS FROZEN CLONE IS NEXT TO THE TV
DINNERS
The Tennessee legislature considered a bill to ban the
cloning of humans in Tennessee (item from Tennessee Journal).
I’M A LUGE-R BABY, SO WHY DON’T YOU KILL ME?
The New Hampshire legislature made skiing an official state
sport (item from Manchester Union Leader).
THE FABRIC OF OUR MISERABLE LIVES
The Iowa legislature passed a bill that removes cotton
picking from a list of items deemed to be nuisances (item from
Statescape).
FIRST, WE END THE STIGMA OF STOPPING TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS
NH State Senator Ted House (D) introduced a bill to
establish a state commission on the status of men, “recommending
methods for overcoming discrimination against men” (item from
Statescape).
IN THE OLD DAYS, THE ENGINEER WOULD PASS AROUND A JUG
A bill in the Missouri Senate required that every train
operating in the state be equipped with a chemical or flushing
toilet (item from Statescape).
THEN HOW WILL THEY MELLOW OUT WHEN HANSON PLAYS “MMMMBOP”?
A bill in New Jersey would have made it unlawful for anyone
under the age of 16 to possess matches or lighters (item from
Statescape).
SWEATY PALMETTOS
South Carolina state Rep. Brad Jordan (R) sponsored a bill
to ban nudity in South Carolina (item from Columbia State.)

We were back for more in May 2000:

DATING A HORSE IS ONE WAY TO HAVE A STABLE RELATIONSHIP:
The Missouri General Assembly considered a bill to ban
bestiality (AP).
DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT ANDY ROONEY’S BACK HAIR LOOKS LIKE
A JOINT RESOLUTION? Ex-Maryland delegate Timothy Maloney,
explaining bizarre legislation: “They come in on Monday morning
and put in legislation based on what they’d seen Morley Safer
and Ed Bradley tackle the night before” (Washington Post).
EXCLUDING, OF COURSE, ‘BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES’: NRA
President Charlton Heston, on his support for Arizona
legislation to increase the penalties for firing a gun randomly
into the air: “Firing a gun into the air is as stupid an
undertaking as I can imagine” (Chicago Tribune).

So we say to the Club for Growth: Godspeed, men, Godspeed.

Also, John McCaslin, Hunk.

Yes, those titles and more for the sensationally wonderful Inside the Beltway columnist for the Washington Times, particularly after he ran this insightfully entrepreneurial item this week:

Thrills and groans

Washington political observer Howard Mortman (ExtremeMortman.com) has just posted another batch of the Top Ten Funniest Political Quotes So Far In 2008.

“Fortunately … a wealth of material to work with,” Mr. Mortman notes. “The challenge was trimming, not scrambling.”

In our opinion it’s difficult to beat No. 2 on the list, figuring MSNBC “Hardball” host Chris Matthews actually admitted: “It’s part of reporting this case, this election, the feeling most people get when they hear Barack Obama’s speech. My, I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don’t have that too often.”

But former President Bill Clinton did not disappoint, expressing in no uncertain terms: “The country is groaning and moaning and screaming for change to turn this country around and get it working again.”

Why would anyone write this?

Have you heard the old joke about the old joke?

It goes something like this: An old guy runs for president. He makes fun of himself for being old. Everyone laughs.

Hi-yo! Kills every time.

Take John McCain. Please.

Find out by clicking on this Politico piece.

The Hill’s Jim Mills does it again. Even more, his amazing editor — Erica, is that her name? — proves why she’s the best in business.

Er, how so?

Check out the latest Mills On the Hill by clicking here, on the Hill Tube page. Warning: you’ll be left scratching your head, wondering: what part of this interview didn’t make it on air? Will America ever see the lost footage? What were the jokes you’ll never hear?

Stay tuned, in case we get invited on a third time.

UPDATE:  YouTube version!

Meet Texas on the Potomac, the sensational blog run by the equally sensational Rich Dunham of the Houston Chronicle.

What sets Rich’s blog apart from all the lesser wannabes?

The answer is today’s listings of his favorite political links, which includes includes this quite revealing and astute entry:

Extreme Mortman. Laugh and learn at the same time. A gem for anyone with a sense of humor.

A gem! A sense of humor! Appreciate your support Rich, and although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest knock-knock joke ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about 18 million inappropriate cracks in it.

The Hill’s Jim Mills and Extreme Mortman — two guys you’d never want to see in a dark alley. And it’s got nothing to do with fear.

UPDATE: Cliff Note’s version, for those needing a wee bit of help. How many lame jokes can you count? Just wait for the Big Whopper.

EVEN MORE UPDATE STILL: Fastest version of this video known to man …

Pulitzer-destined Jim Mills has done it again. The seasoned veteran of C-SPAN, Fox News, and now his current perch at The Hill shows why he’s America’s top investigative and entrepreneurial reporter. How? He sniffed out this sizzling and exclusive interview: the role of comedy in presidential politics as explained by …. Extreme Mortman.

Click on The Hill Tube page — you’ll see it somewhere there.  UPDATE:  Click here for the direct link to glory.
And while you’re over The Hill, make sure you read Jim’s Pundits Blog. You’ll come away similarly convinced — Jim Mills is an American treasure.

Why would anyone write this?

John Adams once inspired this country to greatness. More than 230 years later, our second president is doing it again.

Just ask Ashlee Simpson.

Find out by clicking on this Politico piece.