With all the plagiarism charges swirling around Barack Obama, that’s the only explanation we could come up with for these thoughts from Susan Sarandon (supplied by Tim Graham in Newsbusters):

Well, I’m going to back Obama. But I hope — I think that he, as a symbol, has really excited people, and he’s definitely confusing to everyone who really hates America for hating Muslims because a name like Obama and a black man, they’re probably going to go “Oh, wait a minute — What?” It’s kind of like when you’re out on the line for freedom to have an abortion and you’re incredibly pregnant. They just can’t quite figure it out.

So I think he definitely has convinced people that he stands for change and for hope, and I can’t wait to see what he stands for.

In case you’re interested in what George Clooney has to say about Barack Obama, here’s a YouTube video featuring these thoughts:

“You know, Michael Moore — and I like Michael a lot — but that speech he gave at the Oscars was polarizing. It became Hollywood versus the heartland, and I always find that it’s best not to raise the rhetoric at that point. I’ve been a big supporter of Barack Obama since his Senate run and I’m a friend of his, but I said to him, “I stay completely out of it.” I don’t show up at those things. And believe me, it’s not because his group doesn’t say, “Come on, help us out.” It’s just not the attention you want. I worry about that a lot, because you don’t want to do harm.”

If you’re not interested in what Clooney has to say about Obama, at least the video has Angelina Jolie.

The new issue of Weekly Standard picks up this charming item from Entertainment Weekly:

“Of all the things that fill a filmmaker with dread, huge applause at the end of a test screening isn’t usually one of them. But director Peter Berg started to worry when he showed his new movie, The Kingdom, to an audience in California farm country. About two hours into the high-voltage political thriller–about a group of FBI operatives (played by Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper, and Jason Bateman) investigating a terrorist attack in Saudi Arabia–the packed house went completely bonkers, erupting in cheers when the Americans gun down a group of jihadists. Most directors would have started popping the champagne. But Berg was thoroughly freaked. ‘I was nervous it would be perceived as a jingoistic piece of propaganda, which I certainly didn’t intend,’ says the actor-turned-director, hunched over an outdoor table at a shabby Santa Monica coffeehouse. ‘I thought, Am I experiencing American bloodlust?’ ”

What punishment does Lindsay Lohan deserve?

You might argue she should get off easy.  After all, when Lohan was arrested for investigation of misdemeanor driving under the influence and with a suspended license, and felony cocaine possession, perhaps she wasn’t hurting anyone but herself.  A victimless crime.

But in reality she hurt a great many people.  For starters, our soldiers in Iraq.

Last year, Lohan reportedly told Elle magazine:  “I’ve been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long.  Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous.”

Iraq’s too dangerous for whom – Lohan?  The way she drives, nothing’s too dangerous.  For Hillary?   Nah.  Perish the thought.  Heck, Hillary debates Kucinich.  You don’t think that takes guts?

Lohan told Elle: “I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It’s so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who’s basically a pinup, which is what I’ve always aspired to be.”

Hoo-ah!  Beautiful sex kittens – and presumably we’re still talking about Lohan , not Hillary – are just what our soldiers need right now.  That and body armor.  But they really need Lohan, that fearless sex kitten.  “I’m not afraid of going,” she told Elle. “My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I’m going to start taking shooting lessons.”

She would have been better off taking driving lessons, not shooting lessons.  But it’s a little too late for that kind of guidance, eh?  Alas, entertaining Iraq is now a dream deferred, if not forever dashed.  Lohan could have been for our Iraq troops what Stallone was for Vietnam vets and Schwarzenegger was for cyborgs.

Assuming Lohan does go to jail, depriving America of her talent for any period of time is a hardship that hits the political world worst of all.

Promoting her work in “Bobby” –  the politically-charged movie centering on Robert Kennedy’s assassination – Lohan said, according to the BBC, “I feel I have always been somewhat politically engaged.  I strongly encourage people of my age and generation to have a say and to vote, and to involve themselves in what’s going on in the world, because they are living in it.”

Living in it, indeed.  But Lohan was being far too modest.  She did more than just get an entire generation to vote.  She possess a unique wisdom – the wisdom of sending e-mails.  The kind which mention Al Gore.

And what better way to engage the world politically than invoke the almighty Al Gore.

In December, Slate ran what it claimed is an e-mail Lohan sent to 18 people.  The e-mail says, among other things (and we won’t embarrass Ms. Lohan further by including the obvious [sic’s]):

“I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. … I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me.  Which we all know and can obviously see.  People are just mean. …I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be and the way I work for it to be. … Al Gore will help me came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me.  If he is willing to help me.  Let’s find out.  Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton … would be willing, if we just ask.  If we just ASK.”

That ending, by the way, is sensational dramatic flair.  If … we … just … ASK.  Very Captain Kirk.  Works will with, Help me Obi Wan Al Gore, you’re my only hope.  And with Gore’s extended family, R2D2 and C3PO.

After that note appeared, a Gore representative told Access Hollywood: “I can confirm for you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests.”

Of course, just because they’ve met just once doesn’t mean they still can’t love/hate each other.  Earlier last year, Gore told Jay Leno, “I’m in this HUGE feud with Lindsay Lohan.”

So throw the book at Lindsay Lohan.   She’s betraying America’s soldiers.  She’s abandoning a generation aspiring greatness and ballot access.  And she’s playing hard to get with Al Gore.

Is that any way for a sex kitten to act?

We learn this from the stupendous L.A. Times Top of The Ticket blog:

From Jenna Jameson. THAT Jenna Jameson. The porn star. In an interview on PR.com the blonde businesswoman said she does not like to label herself a Democrat. But it may not surprise some to learn that the adult actress describes herself as “extremely liberal.”

For some reason the actress was asked which Democratic candidate she prefers. To the extreme relief of all the others, Jameson replied, “I love Hillary.”

Jameson, who has starred in such epics as “Janine Loves Jenna,” pines for another Clinton presidency. “The Clinton Administration was the best years for the adult industry,” she says, “and I wish that Clinton would run again. I would love to have him back in office.”

Republicans are different, she says, in a reverse kind of endorsement that some conservatives might relish. “When Republicans are in office, the problem is, a lot of times they try to put their crosshairs on the adult industry to make a point. It’s sad.”

By the way, how’s this for a book title?  Cautionary tale, indeed.

The Post’s “Reliable Source” runs this quote:

“You are the America that we love. Women like you . . . do a lot to bring our two peoples together.”  — French President Nicolas Sarkozy, awarding his country’s Legion of Honor medal Thursday to Barbra Streisand.

What is it with celebrities and France?  And we don’t mean either Jerry Lewis or Paris Hilton.

We mean folks like Woody Allen, who once said: “The United States and France have been great friends and great, great allies going back many, many years.”  And after the Iraq war broke out, Madonna said this to a French audience: “Here in France I feel at home.” 

Talk about a Sarkozy relationship.

Foreign policy fans: prepare to celebrate.  We’ve reached a watershed moment for the craft.  The Council on Foreign Relations has approved Angelina Jolie for membership.

Don’t snicker.  Don’t raid tombs.  This is a good move.  Jolie knows her foreign policy.  No joke.  The sultry actress, already a UN Goodwill Ambassador, has reportedly visited refugee camps in over 30 countries.  In February she wrote an intelligent, cogent op-ed on Darfur for the Washington Post.  She also plays the widow of slain Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl in the new movie A Mighty Heart.

She may be no Kissinger, but if it’s Hollywood glamour we’re after in our foreign policy expertise, we could have done a lot worse.

The fact is, when celebrities talk foreign policy and foreign affairs, typically the result is less brilliance and more babble.

Back in the early ’80s, for example, casino crooner Wayne Newton was asked if he had any connection to India.  Newton said, “I’m an American Indian. I guess that’s a connection.”

Then there’s Kevin Federline, who last year said, “I want to go to Africa — it’s a place where you can really help people.  And I’m into the safari animals.”

Celebrities are also into France.  Woody Allen put it this way: “The United States and France have been great friends and great, great allies going back many, many years.”  After the Iraq war broke out, Madonna said this to a French audience: “Here in France I feel at home.”   Mon cherie!

Communist Cuba’s no celebrity slouch either.  Steven Spielberg once told a Cuban crowd that Cubans were “exploding with passion and talent and self-respect … I feel so much at home here. I hope to come back many times in the future.”  So too, Canada.  Martin Sheen looked northward to feel at home, saying this in Canada:  “Every time I cross this border I feel like I’ve left the land of lunatics.”

Lunatic indeed.  Only someone with Barbra Streisand’s command of foreign policiy facts can make sense of all the lunacy.  Streisand once asserted that, “During the 2004 election, every time John Kerry’s poll numbers elevated, the government announced a new heightened terror alert and people were once again forced to face the orange color code.”

No wonder James Caan once said, “All actors are ignorant.  They should keep their mouths shut.”   Hello gorgeous!

But they won’t.  Instead we get Sheryl Crow crowing: “I think war is based in greed and there are huge karmic retributions that will follow. I think war is never the answer to solving any problems. The best way to solve problems is to not have enemies.”

If you want good karma from your celebrity foreign policy, look no further than Donnie Wahlberg.  He once said: “I would like to meet Mikhail Gorbachev. I think it would be great to sit in a room with him and talk about the situation in the world and try to make peace.”

Not to mention Madonna, who said this about Wesley Clark: “I think he has a good handle on foreign policy, I think he’s good with people, and I think he has a heart and a consciousness.  He’s interested in spirituality — I mean, those things mean a lot to me.”

Hopefully, unlike other celebrities, Jolie won’t get too full of herself, spiritually or otherwise.  Ricky Martin once told Arab youth: “I promise I will become a spokesperson, if you allow me to, a spokesperson on your behalf.”  And Richard Gere recorded this public service announcement calling on Palestinians to vote: “Hi, I’m Richard Gere and I’m speaking for the entire world. We’re with you during this election time. It’s really important: Get out and vote.”

No, if Ms. Jolie wants to avoid sounding silly, she might consult current partner Brad Pitt for pitfalls of sweeping pronouncements.  Pitt and then-partner Jennifer Aniston said in October 2003: “The past few years of conflict mean that yet another generation of Israelis and Palestinians will grow up in hatred.  We cannot allow that to happen.”

Two years later, Pitt seemed to be back on track, probably with wise Angelina’s help.  The U.S. State Department’s “Washington File” news service noted this in November 2005: “As ambassadors of good will in Washington, actor Brad Pitt and his Mr. & Mrs. Smith co-star Angelina Jolie join a long list of Hollywood celebrities using their looks and star appeal to sway U.S. legislators on issues ranging from free trade to stem cell research to environmental protection.”

Now, Mr. & Mrs. Smith have gone to Washington.  Well, at least Mrs. Smith.  Jolie has the diplomatic juice.  And a politicians’ love for local food.  After visiting Cambodia, she said, “I’ve eaten cockroaches, bee larvae and crickets. You can get them with peanuts inside or with guts.  I like them, they’re really meaty and high in protein.”

Mmmm, bee larvae.  Not your ideal dish of diplomacy?  Consider that these are the right times for a tough-as-nails approach to diplomacy.   And heck, what would you expect from someone who once wore a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck?  Try that, Kissinger!

Forgive our departure for the moment from the folly of politics to note the news that the name of Canadian-born actor Dan Aykroyd appears on a new line of signature wine bottles, launched yesterday in Toronto.

Toronto?  Surely, after tasting Dan Aykroyd wine, we just might want to repeal NAFTA.

And it might be time to quote Jake Elwood from the “Blues Brothers”: “That Night Train’s a mean wine.”

We’re not sure how old this is, but we happened to stumble over this at about.com’s great Political Humor site and thought it deserved plugging.

Angelina Jolie’s nomination to the Council on Foreign Relations has been formally accepted by the think tank’s board of directors.

That’s so pleasing.  Our foreign policy will be in capable hands with an actress who once said this after visiting Cambodia: “I’ve eaten cockroaches, bee larvae and crickets. You can get them with peanuts inside or with guts.  I like them, they’re really meaty and high in protein.”