Bill Clinton: “I am not a racist.”

Bill Clinton: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

Richard Nixon: “I’m not a crook.”

Good one, eh?

While we learn that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama will appear jointly Friday in New Hampshire in a town called Unity, we learn this about the third branch of government, Bill Clinton:

Two weeks after his wife ended her White House bid, former Democratic President Bill Clinton offered a faint voice of support for Barack Obama — through a spokesman.

Presumably, if Bill Clinton were to endorse Obama in person, it’d have to be done in another battleground state, Pennsylvania, in a town called, well…

From today’s “Reliable Source“:

Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones, who both claim intimate knowledge of Bill Clinton, have teamed up for “Two Chicks Chatting,” a tacky Internet site where they discuss details of their alleged encounters with the former president for $1.99 a pop.

Of course, if you want to touch the screen, it costs an extra quarter.

Hillary who?

Before we move on from Hillary Clinton, let’s pay tribute for a moment to what Bill Clinton said about Vanity Fair writer Todd Purdum.  From Huffington Post:

“But I’m telling ya, all it’s doing is driving her supporters further and further away– because they know exactly what it is– this has been the most rigged press coverage in modern history– and the guy ought to be ashamed of himself. But he has no shame.”

We get all goose-bumply when Bill Clinton says someone else has no shame.  Or when he says of someone else, “Shame on you.”

For Bill Clinton, West Virginia is far from West Wing

…

(video h/t Wonkette)

Clearly the least comfortable place to be in politics today is Hillary Clinton’s scheduling office.  Can you imagine what it’s like to get enthusiastic about anything in there — let alone the prospect of spending the next week in West Virginia?

The solution might be, again, Bill Clinton, who campaigned in such North Carolina towns as Elizabeth City, New Bern, Jacksonville, Smithfield, Louisburg, Zebulon, Henderson, and Roxboro.  Where might they send him in West Virginia?  Here are a few Mountaineer State cities that might give those Tar Heel towns a run for their money:

• Bath
• Flemington
• Hundred
• Iaeger
• Jane Lew
• Kermit
• Man
• Paw Paw
• Smithers
• War
• Amherstdale-Robinette
• Beaver
• Crab Orchard
• Harts
• Hurricane
• Mineralwells
• Mount Gay-Shamrock
• Sistersville
• Nutter Fort
• Pinch

Of course, John McCain could send his own surrogate to campaign in the West Virginia town of Romney.

And if the fight continues beyond West Virginia?  Here’s how the Democrats might settle their convention delegate differences, Kentucky style.

As Smokey Robinson sang, “If there’s a smile on my face, it’s only there trying to fool the public.  But when it comes down to fooling you, now honey that’s quite a different subject.”

Bill Clinton, on visiting small North Carolina towns:

“They say Bill Clinton’s been banished to the backwater, but that’s not how it is.  I’m from the backwater. I like it here.”

Different Clinton, different opinion of elites.

On the one hand, Hillary Clinton, who …

declined this morning to name a single economist who backs her call for a gas tax suspension.

“I’m not going to put my lot in with economists,” Clinton said in an exclusive appearance on a special edition of “This Week” from Indianapolis.

In light of fierce criticism from economic experts, Clinton said, “We’ve been, for the last seven years, seeing a tremendous amount of government power and elite opinion basically behind policies that haven’t worked well for the middle class and hard-working Americans. … I know if we get it right, if we actually did it right, if we had a president who used all the tools of the presidency, we would design it in such a way that it would be implemented effectively.”

On the other hand, candidate Bill Clinton did care what elites thought about his economic plan.  This 1992 Clinton campaign ad touted: “Bill Clinton’s economic plan, endorsed by over 600 economists including ten Nobel Prize winers as the best hope for reviving the nation’s economy.”