The Leg Bone’s Connected To The Extreme Bone
March 7, 2006 at 8:23 pm
Extreme Mortman’s been dark the last few days. Why? Broke my leg. Not broke back, as in the failed Oscar nominee, but broke leg, as in Tonya Harding and Jeff Gilloly.
The doctors inserted a titanium rod in my right leg (even though it was the left one that I broke. Anyone know a good malpractice lawyer? Nah, just kidding.)
I can’t tell a fibula. Walking around with a titanium rod in my body proudly puts me in the same heavy metal league with celebrities such as the late Christopher Reeve, who needed titanium in his broken arm after attendants dropped him one day, Gloria Estefan, who got titanium in her spine after a bus accident, and legendary Austrian Alpine Skier Hermann Maier — the Hermannator. Just call me, I guess, the Extreminator.
How’m I doing now? Taking lots of aspirin because I’ve been running a high femur.
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