The Sunday Washington Post Magazine imagines …

President Heath Shuler’s “New Pioneers” call in 2017 for Americans to decentralize, to leave behind the congested and crumbling 1960s suburbs and embark on a massive resettlement of the land beyond the exurbs. Shuler’s lure was the great open spaces that were now finally fully linked to AmeriWeb, the wireless information network that extended into every community in the land, the result of the most massive public works project since the construction of the interstate highway system.

President Shuler?   Nice dream.  About as likely to come true as our old dreams of a completed pass.

NY Times’ The Caucus:

The N.C.A.A. bracket has already gathered dust and the championship game is long in the books, but it’s always basketball season here in Indiana. So after a day on the campaign trail, Senator Barack Obama suited up for a game of hoops tonight.

It must be crunch time.

Indiana’s presidential primary is less than two weeks away and both Democratic candidates are pressing for every advantage. Mr. Obama hopes to find his edge on the court.

It must be more than crunch time.  It must be time to wipe those bowling clips off the endless cable TV B-roll, huh?

It seems Hillary Clinton still has a lot of work to do to bring him down to Earth.

Hail To The Outsourcing!

Rice shortages, gas prices skyrocketing … where else are we hurting these days?

Metaphors.

Seems like the Washington Post op-ed page has run dry at the metaphor well.

How else to explain this conclusion to Colbert King’s Barack Obama op-ed today?

Clinton simply demonstrated her uncanny ability to condemn someone for behavior that is more applicable to her own camp. Some might call that hypocrisy; others, unmitigated gall. She calls it winning.

Obama, on the other hand, can’t play the victim. He needs to take to heart another tune. Billy Ocean’s 1985 hit: “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going.”

Huh — Billy Ocean?  Colby King needs Billy Ocean to be make a profound point?  What, Rick Astley wasn’t available?

Brace yourself.

Ready?

You won’t want to miss it.

The technological innovation of a lifetime.

The White House Correspondents Association Dinner — live via Twitter.

Brought to you by Extreme Mortman and our sensational New Media Strategies colleague Leslie Bradshaw.

All Saturday night long, live from the fabulous and well-appointed Washington Hilton International Ballroom.

On this special WHCA Dinner Twitter channel:  https://twitter.com/Leslieann44

We’ll bring you all the Passover action: live interviews with B and C level celebrities and guests, fried food reviews, silly wardrobe reviews, pre and post party observations, expected wait in bathroom lines.  And so on.  Twitter Snark like you’ve never seen.

Stay tuned.  You won’t want to miss a moment of our Tweets.
We begin broadcasting at 5:30 p.m. Saturday — live from the lower level entrance of the Washington Hilton.

Remember: what you don’t know immediately about the White House Correspondents Dinner Association might kill you.

Yeas & Nays:

Concerned that the Democratic Party’s complex nominating process might cost its candidate in the fall, Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., said superdelegates like himself should not have a “decisive role” in choosing the nominee, even if it means stripping them of their votes.

Speaking to reporters at a Christian Science Monitor breakfast, the powerful Financial Services Committee chairman said, “Some of us superdelegates will have their feelings hurt, but if they don’t give us a vote maybe they can give us a cape instead, so we can feel super.”

And just in case the Democrats don’t even give Frank a cape, here’s one from his fans at Extreme Mortman.

Cheers to Daniel Kurtzman for putting together a marvelous romp through the best comedy routines from the silly season — DC media’s annual tributes to itself.

Check out the list at Political Humor here.

Of course, we’re still loyal to any White House Correspondents Dinner the features Ozzy Osbourne.

We love it when we can throw the red flag on folks who violate the Logan Act.  We love it even more when it involves Jimmy Carter.  And we love it even most when, for evidence, we can cite National Public Radio.  Here’s Daniel Schorr on “Things Considered”:

The Logan Act bans unauthorized U.S. citizens from negotiating with a foreign government. It was passed in 1799, and there are no recorded prosecutions under the law. Why is it an issue now? Two words: Jimmy Carter.

Click here for the audio.

By the way, where does the White House stand on all this Carter foreign policy freelancing?

From Wednesday’s press briefing with Dana Perino:

Q Thank you, Dana. Two questions. The AP in Kuwait quotes Secretary of State Rice as saying, “The United States is not going to deal with Hamas. And we had certainly told President Carter that we did not think meeting with Hamas was going to help.” And my question: Since the result of this telling was that Mr. Carter proceeded directly to violate this U.S. policy and meet with these terrorists, what is President Bush prepared to do to put an end to this one-man defiance of our policy which so gratified the terrorists?

MS. PERINO: Well, former President Carter is a private citizen, and he made a decision to not comply with what the State Department asked him to do. What I think the President would focus on is, if you go back to what reportedly Hamas said to former President Carter, that they were willing to take these steps for peace, that the very next day, that they went ahead and murdered many people at the Gaza crossing. And I think actions speak louder than words, and we remain very concerned about the situation. That’s why Secretary Rice was in the region.

Q If the President, as our nation’s chief law enforcer, fails to order Mr. Carter’s passport revoked, how many more people like Carter may want to plot U.S. policy in this regard, do you imagine?

MS. PERINO: I don’t know, you’ll have to take a national survey.

We learn from “The Reliable Source“:

For more than 36 hours, the political blogosphere and cable-news yakfests buzzed about the big mystery of Primary Night: What was up with those three dudes in splashy Abercrombie & Fitch logo tees standing behind Barack Obama during his televised speech? The frat-casual retailer denied involvement in any publicity stunt. And with the alleged pranksters failing to step forward immediately, two startling theories arose:

· Are there some Americans who aren’t fully tuned in to the relentless 24-hour political news cycle?

· Are there some Americans who don’t crave their 15 minutes of fame in said news cycle?

Finally, one of the men contacted CNN yesterday to explain. Seems it wasn’t a stunt at all! Just that he and his brother and their friend all really like to wear Abercrombie Fitch, and they just happened to get seated behind the candidate. Go figure.

Here’s the picture.

But the mystery is far from over.  I smell conspiracy.
For instance, grab your magnifying glass and carefully look at the photo from a different angle.  You might spot Obama with Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-HI)…

But where’s Fitch? Gone!
And from another angle still, you’ll surely spot these entirely different stealthy handsome devils.

President Bush with Palestinian Authority President Abbas today:

“I assured the President that a Palestinian state is a high priority for me and my administration — a viable state, a state that doesn’t look like Swiss cheese.”

President Bush with Jordan’s King Abdullah in March:

“I said a state has got to be continuous — a contiguous territory; it can’t look like Swiss cheese.”

President Bush in Saudi Arabia in January:

“when I said contiguous, that means contiguous territory that does not — Swiss cheese.”

President Bush in Ramallah in January:

“Swiss cheese isn’t going to work when it comes to the outline of a state.”

Of course, some things are worse than cheese from the Swiss.  Like chocolate cake from the Germans.