Larry King just asked Barack Obama-booster Michael Moore what Moore would do if he were president.

One of Moore’s proposals: “Free HBO for every American.”

Let’s see, last night Larry King interviewed Bush hater Joy Behar (”I just don’t want another Republican in office anymore. Have you watched the ‘John Adams’ series? Isn’t it brilliant? When you see what John Adams was like and George Bush, it’s almost like Darwinism in reverse?”).

The night before, Larry King interviewed Jimmy Carter (”[Jeremiah Wright] preaches the type of sermon that I think appeals to many people”).

Boy, Democrats must be proud to see their best and brightest in front of the nation every night. Makes you wonder who they’ll put forward at their summer convention … Sean Penn? Barbra Streisand?

That’s not a serious party. That’s a lounge act.

Aw, *&%$!!  Hillary Clinton coulda had a V-8!

Minnesota Democratic Senate candidate Al Franken is in trouble for not paying income taxes.

Is this a comedy stunt he’s up to?  Hardly.  But his thoughts on income taxes sure made for some comedy fodder on “Saturday Night Live’s” Weekend Update back in 1979:

Jane Curtin: And now, to talk about income taxes, is Weekend Update Social Sciences Editor, Al Franken. Al?

Al Franken: Why, thanks, Jane! Well, now that it’s tax time, I know a lot of you are thinking, what can you do to help me, Al Franken, do my taxes. Well, first, let me say that 1979 was a pretty good year for me, even though it wasn’t part of the Al Franken Decade. As a major writer/personality for a major TV show, I did.. pretty well. I’m not gonna tell you exactly what I made, because it might make a few of you a little less likely to be concerned about me, Al Franken. But let’s just say that.. you’d be pretty impressed.

Now, one nice thing I learned about making a lot of money, is that on the percentage basis, the more money you make, the less taxes you really end up paying. For example, last year, George Bush paid $3,000 in taxes on almost $100,000 income. Not bad, George! You see, the tax codes are written by guys who have a lot of money - just like me, Al Franken.

Okay, now I’m gonna tell you three of the ways that I legally avoid paying my fair share of taxes. I’m not going to tell you everything - after all, this is something I pay my big-time accountant for, whose services are, by the way, tax-deductible.

Now, first - the Al Franken Corporation. You see, I make only $300 a week, paid to me by Al Franken the Corporation. Now, the rest of the money taken in by the Al Franken Corporation goes to paying many of the expenses of its employee - me, Al Franken. Now, of course, the more business expenses that Al Franken, me and Al Franken, the corporation can document, the less taxes I have to pay.

Which brings me to how you can help me, Al Franken with my taxes. I would like each and every one of you to send me your spare receipts. I mean, any receipts. you see, since I’m a comedian, almost anything I spend can be justified as a business expense. For example, this sports jacket. [ holds out sleeve ] See, I’m wearing it on TV, so it’s a business expense. [ pulls leg over desk ] You see.. these pants here. Now deductible, because they’re on TV. [ extends wrist ] Okay, this watch. It’s an expensive watch, it’s now deductible. Okay.. [ picks up tape deck and puts in on desk ] This portable tape deck. It’s got everything.. now deductible. Now, this Christmas, I went to Hawaii.. [ holds up picture ] ..and here’s a picture of me in Hawaii, taken by some friends I met there. And, I don’t know if you can see this - can we pull in a little closer there? [ camera zooms in on picture ] Now, obviously, I couldn’t have taken this picture unless I’d actually gone to Hawaii, and stayed in a hotel there. And I think that you, the audience, you like this picture, am I right? [ audence applauds wildly ] Okay, now the Hawaii trip is deductible.

Send me any receipt you can’t use! Books! Stationary! Medicine! My accountant can something with it, believe me! I’d like to talk especially to you poor people, who were unemployed in 1979, and went below the poverty level in ghettos of America. Now, you don’t pay taxes, you don’t need your receipts, so send them to me, please, everybody! Send in your receipts to me, Al Franken, New York, New York. I’d appreciate it. Thank you.

Jane Curtin: Thank you, Al, I hope everything works out.

Back then this shtick was comedy.  But today?  More like ironic foreshadowing.

Rep. Ed Markey (D-MA) has quite a distinction.  He chairs the only new committee that Nancy Pelosi has created as Speaker, the Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming.

Presumably that distinction gives Markey official license to design some pretty creative metaphors, such as this:

“The truth is, the planet has a fever, but there are no hospitals for sick planets.  We have to find a way of engaging in preventative planet health care.”

Of course, on the bright side of things, at least the planet doesn’t have to eat hospital food.

You might feel sorry for Barack Obama, being undone by his own pastor, like a Shakespearean tragedy (et tu, Jeremiah?).  Being helpless at the foot of a figure of unnatural pomposity, the likes of which we haven’t seen in quite some time.  By a party primary nomination process that seems, at best, counter-productive and at worst, a suicide pact.  Indeed, Howard Dean’s party will have the nominee decided well beyond the conclusion of the Stanley Cup hockey championship — a huge blemish on his record.
So, feel sorry for Obama?   Not after reading these questions posed by today’s Washington Post editorial:

Given the long and close relationship between Mr. Obama and the Rev. Wright, voters will ask: How could Mr. Obama have been surprised by the Rev. Wright’s views? How could he not have seen this coming?

Obama’s right: It’s all about judgment.

One happy bit of nostalgia came out Jeremiah Wright’s address to the National Press Club — a citation of John 3:16.

MODERATOR:  In your understanding of Christianity, does God love the white racists in the same way he loves the oppressed black American?

WRIGHT:  John 3:16, Jesus said it much better than I could ever say it, “for God so loved the world.”

Hmmmm, John 3:16.  Could that mean ….?  Yes — the Rainbow Man!  The multi-colored hair guy who was always in the end zone seats when we watched pro football on TV growing up.  He finally gets his due.

Completely dominating broadcast and cable news coverage, Democrats are living a media dream these days, .  But in a cruel irony of life, they surely wish they weren’t.

A brief sampling of the topics you might have seen/heard in the media yesterday and today:

• Monday morning “Today Show”: Jimmy Carter
• Monday afternoon “The View”: Jeremiah Wright
• Monday evening “NBC Nightly News”: Jeremiah Wright
• Monday night “Larry King”: Jimmy Carter
• Monday night “Jon Stewart”: Jeremiah Wright
• Tuesday morning “Good Morning America”: Jeremiah Wright
• Tuesday “Diane Rehm” show: Jimmy Carter

Of course, after all the Wright/Carter talk, there’s basically room for only one other story of destruction: the Virginia tornadoes…

Craig Ferguson is still winning well-deserved plaudits for his sensational performance at Saturday’s White House Correspondents Association Dinner — particularly for his double-barreled blast at the New York Times.

Of course, there are killjoys. In today’s London Independent, Andrew Gumbel brilliantly dissects one such sourpuss:

Not everyone loved his performance – it was, to reiterate, a tough crowd. Dan Froomkin of the Washington Post took him to task because he wasn’t more acerbic about the powerful men and women he was addressing, and interpreted his self-deprecation as a form of advance apology for chickening out. (Two years ago, incidentally, the Washington Post took Stephen Colbert to task for the exact opposite, saying he had essentially violated the unwritten rules of etiquette with his withering take on Bush et al.)

Seems like situational ethics are always at play — even in Washington’s comedy world.  Heck, at least someone other than Jeremiah Wright is dividing America these days.

Today’s Yeas & Nays has this wonderful graphic, a sound chart showing that President Bush barely beat out Craig Ferguson for noise at the White House Correspondents Association Dinner Saturday night …

How’d they measure the noise?  Multi-faceted Jeff Dufour used this hyper-sensitive (think New York Times) atomically-calibrated decibel counter, presumably on loan from the U.S. Naval Research Laboratory.  Or Radio Shack.