I’m watching Hillary Clinton debate Barack Obama from the Kodak Theater, where they give out the Academy Awards.

That explains why the program is dragging — they’re only up to Best Supporting Actress.  I’m reminded of Johnny Carson hosting the 1979 Oscars: “Welcome to the Academy Awards, a glittering two hours of entertainment, spread out over four hours.”

I’m just hoping things liven up when Billy Crystal does a song-and-dance routine to explain how delegates are selected.

UPDATE:  Nice touch.  I swear I just heard Hillary Clinton say, “You like me.  You really like me!”

The February 12th Pundit Primary can’t come quick enough.  You can’t go anywhere in Northern Virginia these days without being swarmed by Tim Kaine for VP talk.

We last checked in with the Tim Kaine for running mate juggernaut when he was on CNN saying nice things about Ronald Reagan.  Today’s evidence came a different way — when we tripped over our pile of junk mail at home and spotted the local Sun Gazette newspaper.

And there was the headline: “Kaine for VP?  Don’t Rule Him Out.”

We “learn” this from the story:

Gov. Kaine says he wouldn’t expect to be chosen and doesn’t think he would be the best choice, but he also hasn’t explicitly ruled out running as the Democratic vice presidential nominee, if asked to join the ticket.

Speaking to state business leaders in Richmond on Jan. 23, the governor said that “there are much better people out there” to be the vice presidential.

Asked about the possibility of joining the ticket during a “Chamber Day at the Capitol” event, Kaine said he plans on serving his full term as governor, and will try “to get things done that need to get done in Virginia.”

Kaine has appeared on lists of prospective vice president picks, should U.S. Sen. Barack Obama win the Democratic nomination. Kaine was the first governor to endorse Obama, and now serves as a national co-chairman of his campaign.

Of course, should an Obama-Kaine ticket win the White House in November, Kaine would turn Virginia over to a Republican governor, current Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling.  Now that’s the true spirit of bipartisanship.

Sources tell Extreme Mortman that these famous folks will be in the audience at tonights CNN/Politico Democratic debate in Hollywood:

• Leo DeCaprio
• Tom Hanks
• Warren Beatty

With the end of Rudy Giuliani’s presidential campaign, it’s time to bid good riddance to the most over-worked easy headline in American political history: The Clash’s “Rudie Can’t Fail.”

Before turning our attention to The Clash’s far superior “The Guns Of Brixton” — clearly an homage to Ron Paul — let’s consider this fabulous fact from colleague Patrick Ottenhoff, the lovely and talented creator of The Electoral Map blog:

Some presidential trivia for the day — With Rudy out of the race, no New York City mayor for the last 140 years has been elected to another office after leaving City Hall.

Fascinating tidbit in Roll Call’s “Heard on the Hill” column.  The topic: Al-Jazeera covering the State of the Union address (we wrote about it previously here).  Here’s “Heard on the Hill”:

But a few Members did take a turn in front of Al-Jazeera’s lens. HOH spotted Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) doing an interview, and the producer says Reps. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) and Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) also appeared before the network’s cameras Monday night.

Sanders tells HOH he’s willing to talk to any news outlet, including Al-Jazeera and even - gasp - Fox News. “They might have their own point of view, but I am free to speak my mind,” he tells HOH. “I think it’s appropriate to talk to any news organization.”

Another reason Sanders might have been willing to appear on the network: It’s available via satellite all over the country but via cable in only a few areas - including on his home turf in Burlington, Vt., and in the cities of Sandusky and Toledo in Ohio.

Small presence indeed.  And with this tidbit in MediaGuardian …

Al-Jazeera’s troubled English language news channel is facing a “serious staffing crisis” after scores of journalists left or have not had contracts renewed amid claims of a revolt over working conditions.

… it’s worth pondering how much those members of Congress are helping prop up the struggling network.

Here now is the next installment of our new regular series — the Joke Reality Check — in which we put jokes told on the campaign trail or in the media or in the general political discussion through a VIP check-up and washing. We check whether jokes are stolen, poorly-premised, or poorly written or delivered. And we offer strategic advice to improve the attempt.

Bananas!

That’s right, bananas!

Cheers to John McCain for the best punchline we’ve heard on the campaign trail in a long, long time.  Most politicians’ jokes involve elaborate set-up and equally elaborate punchlines, turning even the funniest concept into awkward, humorless vapor.

Not so with John McCain during last night’s Republican debate at the Reagan library:

“I heard Gov. Romney describe his record, as I understand it his record was he raised taxes by $730 million — he called them fees. I’m sure the people that had to pay it, whether they called them bananas, they still had to pay $730 million extra.”

Bananas — hilarious!  There’s so much good to say about that:

• The word itself sounds funny
• It’s almost self-deprecating — isn’t McCain himself supposed to be bananas?
• It reminds us of Woody Allen:

Now, truth be told, McCain has used “bananas” as a punchline before, as this YouTube video evidence shows

But, as Mr. Tally Man proved by beating Mr. Taliban, banana works in so many places. Much more than the “wall like a duck, quack like a duck, must be a duck” hackneyed formula.

Bananas also reminds us fondly of Bob Dole, who long ago said that he followed Strom Thurmond’s example at Capitol Hill receptions. “If he takes a shrimp, I take a shrimp. If he takes a banana, I take a banana.”

Yes, banana — always funny.  No wonder the old folks are called the greatest generation.

Rep. Tom Davis’ (R-VA) retirement plans bring to an end a short but entertaining YouTube career.

This video?

Nope, too bland, even with those spectacular final seconds.

No, we’re talking this video (hat tip Fishbowl and Not Larry Sabato) …

… a moment which makes all the more prescient given this boost we got from a loyal Extreme reader, suggesting Davis’ heir apparent.

Washington Times editorial page editor Deborah Simmons’ appearance this morning on C-SPAN’s “Washington Journal” raising a fascinating prospect — will the conservative Times editorial page make an endorsement in the Democratic presidential primary?

Here’s Simmons talking with host Susan Swain:

SWAIN: So, the question of newspaper endorsements.  Do they matter this year?
SIMMONS: Yes, they matter.  They always should matter because people who serve on editorial boards and write editorials for newspaper also live out in the very communities of American voters who are selecting, whether they’re local, state or federal, elected officials.  One of our dilemmas this year is that we usually don’t endorse in the primary.  Sometimes newspapers, majors and smaller newspapers will look at candidates on either side of the spectrum of Republican and independent or Democrat and endorse in the primary and endorse in the general election.  Well we’re weighing now whether we should stick with our tradition, which is just to endorse in the general election or whether we should endorse in the primaries, as well.
SWAIN: We’ve got what’s being called the Chesapeake primary, which is the D.C., Maryland and
virginia, which is now getting a lot more attention with the race not being settled.  That’s your home state region.
SIMMONS: Direct them not only on that day, but come September after the conventions and the
nominees are chosen, as well as –
SWAIN: Does the fact that this primary is increasing important, is that why you’re weighing
whether or not you want to do a primary endorsement?
SIMMONS: We didn’t have this dynamic four years ago, 12 years ago, there is a different dynamic here.  Why we didn’t weigh in whether the primary should be early or not, we think it’s important particularly since Super Tuesday is Tsunami Tuesday with so many other states weighing in.  So, we’re — that’s our discourse going on right now.  We do think it is really important, absolutely.

We’re dying to see the outcome of this deliberation — and we’ll publicly predict that if the Times does endorse in the Democratic primary, in a delicious irony they’ll pick Hillary Clinton over Barack Obama, based on her stronger position on the Iraq war.  For that same reason, we’ll predict that the Washington Post — with equal irony –  endorses John McCain prior to the Feb. 12 pundit primary.

President Bush today spoke to the Robinson Helicopter Company of Torrance, California. He was accompanied by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Bush concluded his speech this way:

So I appreciate you giving me a chance, Mr. Robinson, to come and visit with you. I especially was pleased to meet your employees. It’s a good group of folks, highly motivated and hard-working, and they were very hospitable, and for that the Governor and I are very grateful.

Governor, I’ve got my own helicopter driver, thank you.

That last line was meant as a joke, although for the life of me I don’t get it. Instead of trying to work it out, let’s just show what Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like as a passenger on a helicopter.

… how will certain media folks react?  We might see something like this …