Hello, gorgeous.

Barbra Streisand used to say that to herself.

Now, at long last, folks in D.C. can look in the mirror and say the same thing.

The fact is, there’s never been a better time to say you’re from Washington — and you’re beautiful.

These days, we’re a political community defined by our looks.

Evidence: The Washington Post examines every inch of Hillary Clinton’s bosom.  The Hill newspaper lists the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill. Fishbowl DC designates the Hottest Media Types.  John Edwards — once named People magazine’s sexiest politician — gets a knock-out haircut.

The Obama Girl.

It’s time to rise to greatness — and admit we’re all beautiful.  We’ve come a long way, baby.

If we’re being defined by how we look –  if that’s the way the game is played — no problem.  We look great.

We can finally relegate to the dustbin of history the smear that Washington is Hollywood for ugly people — a line regularly repeated by ugly people.

Fortunately, that demeaning perception has been challenged over the years by brave, beautiful souls.  Think George Magazine.  “The West Wing.” The White House Correspondents Association Dinner.  Jessica Cutler.  The D.C. Madam.

Now, our makeover is nearly complete.  We’ve just arrived at our coming out party. And everyone in the room is noticing how simply sensational we look.

The Politico’s Anne Schroeder asked back in March, “Maybe we’re not so ugly anymore?”

Good question.  Are we, as Carrie Bradshaw might have typed in “Sex and the City,” now beautiful?

The answer became apparent two years ago when U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald was named one of People magazine’s “sexiest men alive.” It was certified when we saw the photo of Barack Obama running on the beach — putting Bo Derek and Burt Lancaster to shame.

Yes, we’re beautiful.

Some might challenge our celebration of our beauty.  After all, we already are a town obsessed with our careers and our names and our reputations and our … well, we’re just plain obsessed with ourselves.  How can that be beautiful?

They might cite the late Johnny Apple, who wrote in the New York Times in 1998:

“During the debate in October about impeachment hearings, Representative Robert Wexler, a Florida Democrat, gave the game away. He said that he wanted to tell his colleagues, “in the most friendly and respectful way that I know,” that he and Representative Robert Barr, a Georgia Republican, were scheduled to appear that evening on the “Crossfire” program, so he planned to postpone his comments in the House “in an effort not to ruin the show.” No wonder it’s been said that Washington is Hollywood for ugly people.”

Great observation.  But that’s inner ugliness.  And these days, who cares?  Now, political and media celebs regularly check where their books rank on Amazon.  They dissect their Wikipedia entry.  And they fret over what information Google serves up about them.  In other words, yawn.  Offended?  Go blame the Internet.

We’ve long since come to grips with the understanding that being a top shelf political or media celeb means having no shame.  Narcissism is no longer a barrier to beauty.  No, rather than being ugly, it’s amusing.

Of course, we shouldn’t get cocky about being so darn beautiful.  Indeed, the Los Angeles Times’ political blog “Top of the Ticket” brings us down to Earth with this observation about The Hill’s 50 most beautiful people: “We can’t quibble with a single choice. We do note, though, that a quite a few come from California.”

Nothing wrong with D.C. becoming a melting pot of beauty.  As long as ugly people stay out.

Extreme Mortman has been a proud and giggly supporter of the 2007 Funniest Fed competition for years.
So imagine our excitement to learn that the competition’s sensational producer Naomi Johnson has added two new shows: one in Washington, DC on Sept. 19 with the five DC Finalists, and the other on Oct 4th in New York City for NYC and New Jersey federal employees (plus military vets and retired federal employees.)
Details:

1)  DC show — Wed., Sept. 19th, 8:30 p.m, Riot Act Comedy Club, 1610 14th Street, NW

2)  NYC show — Thursday, Oct. 4, 10 p.m., the Sage Theater, 711 Seventh Avenue

During this 30th anniversary of something Elvis-related, not sure exactly what, it’s worth taking this picture out of its hermetically sealed vault for one last look until we show it to you again.

An oxymoron no more.   Our friendly and thoughtful colleagues at the So Good blog have turned us onto Bacon Salt — a friendly and thoughtful way to add bacon to everything.  And they claim it’s Kosher, so presumably you can add it to gefilte fish, smoked salmon, challah, and borscht without guilt.  We had a quick taste — but had to return the bottle.  We crave more.  Anyone know how to score some?

Political and policy junkies know Kenneth Adelman for his extensive experience in foreign and military affairs. He served as a U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations (with Jeane Kirkpatrick) and Arms Control Director under President Ronald Reagan (1981-87); and Assistant to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld in the mid-1970s.   He’s a writer, consultant and former member of the Defense Policy Board. He’s also the executive director of the “Arts & Ideas” series of the Aspen Institute.But you may not know one of the most remarkable features of Ken Adelman. He loves Shakespeare. Actually, he’s a Shakespeare junkie, enthusiast and teacher. Adelman is the author of five books, including co-author of Shakespeare in Charge, and he’s been teaching Shakespeare for years, beginning in 1977, at Georgetown and George Washington Universities.

His most ambitious and unique Shakespeare endeavor is Movers & Shakespeares.  Along with his wife Carol, the president of Movers & Shakespeares, they present fun, team-building, executive training and leadership development based on the insights and wisdom of the Bard. The program has been featured in the New York Times (front page of the Arts section and front page of the business section).  It’s been featured in People magazine, Fortune, Business Week, the Washington Post, and Forbes.

And now, we feature it in Extreme Mortman. Please give a warm round of applause
and welcome to our blog Ambassador Kenneth Adelman, Vice-President of Movers &
Shakespeares.

MORTMAN: What is Movers & Shakespeares?
ADELMAN: We teach leadership through Shakespeare. We don’t directly teach Shakespeare. We’ll take a group of executives and show them how great leaders in the past have changed their organizations in a fundamental strategic sense.  How executives take on new roles and responsibilities as they move up the organization. How they can inspire groups for the organization’s mission. How to perfect one-on-one persuasive skills. How to work across organizations — out of your comfort zone. And how to establish standards and hold people accountable to those standards. We’ll teach how to have better communications within the company and beyond, to convey the company’s mission. How to evaluate risk and take more risk in your business.

We believe this is uniquely powerful, because Shakespeare provides three unparalleled factors:

1. He had the greatest insights into human nature than anyone in history.  And knowing what makes people tick is the main factor in success in business, government, and other facets of life.
2. He told stories — and people learn best through stories.
3. He had the greatest words in the English language — and words are the vehicle we use for leadership.

MORTMAN: What’s the biggest lesson to learn from Shakespeare?
ADELMAN: You have to understand what makes people tick to move them on the path to where you want to go. He gives us insight into human nature. Realizing that people are different, they’re not just boxes to check off on a chart.

MORTMAN: What’s your favorite line from Shakespeare?
ADELMAN: “All things are ready, if our minds be so” from Henry V.  Shows that the most important asset of any important corporation lies between the ears of its executives. The knowledge of those leaders is more important than the physical aspects or any of its factors.

MORTMAN: How has Shakespeare played a role in your career?
ADELMAN: Time again with Ronald Reagan and summits, I thought of analogies with Shakespeare. The way Ronald Reagan would motivate people like Henry V did with the Saint Crispen’s Day speech.

MORTMAN: What else should people know about Movers & Shakespeares?
ADELMAN: Besides real take home value, Movers & Shakespeares is fun.  People like going to the movies. We show clips of movies that they can understand easily. So it’s a great team building exercise. It really works and it’s a lot of fun because you can see the excitement and success you have.

MORTMAN: What’s the greatest Shakespeare movie of all time?
ADELMAN: Kenneth Branagh in Henry V.

MORTMAN: What is your relationship with the Aspen Institute?
ADELMAN: I’ve been coming to the Aspen Institute for 20 years. I started teaching Shakespeare ten years ago. We don’t teach Shakespeare as much as we teach human insights and leadership, counseling through Shakespeare. Last year we did forgiveness. We used The Tempest, and Count of Monte Christo.  This year we’re going to do Young Love — called “Woo is Me” — with Romeo & Juliet.

At the Aspen Ideas Festival we’ve been doing Shakespeare and politics for the last two years. This year we had 500 people come at 5 p.m. and turned people away. We had Michael York and Carol doing the lines. And David Gergen.

MORTMAN: Now I’d like to get your thoughts on other areas of your expertise.  How do you think things are going in Iraq?
ADELMAN: I fear that we are not doing well. I just think that we got our act together too late. I think we lost a few years in there that we should have had. Policy folks — Secretary of Defense, National Security Adviser — really let us down.

MORTMAN: How do we win in Iraq?
ADELMAN: I thought if we could turn it around, and give people the sense that momentum was on our side, that could turn it around. But that hasn’t happened. I think with plans to withdraw, we either get out of the way and let the different factions do whatever they have to do, or let the different factions act like Iraqis. But I’m an optimist.

MORTMAN: Should we invade Iran?
ADELMAN: I would not use the military in Iran. I would squeeze the sanctions as hard as we can. I would go to the Saudis and the Persian Gulf countries, and have them pressure the Europeans, saying they just have to crack down. I don’t think the Bush Administration has done anything with the Saudis that’s worthwhile.

MORTMAN: Your thoughts on the presidential race?
ADELMAN: I’ve been disappointed. It seems that there are no new ideas coming out of the presidential race. 1980 we had the Reagan Doctrine, supply side economics, SDI — all these were ideas, they were new ideas. I haven’t heard anything new from either side. I’m disappointed.

MORTMAN: Your thoughts on the Bush legacy?
ADELMAN: Bush is a person who had good ideas but could not implement them. The
first MBA president was the worst administrative leader, the most un-MBA-ish president. He didn’t set goals, he didn’t hold people accountable. He just engaged in happy talk. He thought words were all people needed, instead of a realistic approach. A failed presidency based on that.

Click here for more information about Movers & Shakespeares.

The good news: Another blogger gets cited by the White House press corps as the basis of a question; this time it’s radio talk show host and top blogger Hugh Hewitt.

The bad news: Is Tony Snow leaving?

From today’s White House press gaggle:

Q:  Tony Snow this week told Hugh Hewitt that he’s already made it clear at the White House that he’s not going to be able to go the distance, meaning serve to the end of the term. Has he submitted his resignation?

MR. JOHNDROE: You know, I had not heard that Tony had made those comments. I’m not aware of any resignation being submitted or anything like that.

Another White House wedding?  I’m happy, you’re happy, Oliver Stone’s happy.

All the comments in the post below about the April 1975 Newsweek article on global cooling reminds this old hand of that great joke told by rowdy economists: If you put one foot in the freezer and one foot in the refrigerator, on the average you’re comfortable.

Dennis Hastert’s announced retirement gives us a chance to again plug this book — the number one best seller as determined by the people who comment in this blog.

I’d provide a link to Amazon, but they don’t really need the extra traffic.

By the way, I’ve got a copy of the book that’s been passed around more than a cheap metaphor at the end of this sentence.