No, your eyes do not deceive you.  That’s a Washington Post vending machine accepting credit cards.

DCist and d1004d write about it.  We’re dumbfounded by it.

Let’s see: The Post costs 35 cents on weekdays.  So that means — if I quickly do the math in my head — if I use my credit card that rewards me with airplane miles to buy the Post every day, I would only have to read it for 20 more years to qualify for a free ticket from Reagan Airport to Dulles.  40 more years and I qualify for the Style section to make fun of my first name.

Fishbowl DC and Wonkette plug YouTube videos of Tucker Carlson explaining how he once reacted to getting “bothered” in a Georgetown bathroom: “Hit him against the stall.”
But why engage in violence? Here’s a simpler way to ward off the offending evildoers…

We’ll know in September whether our Iraq troop surge is working.

But for now, looks like President Bush has turned the tide in the Iraq comedy surge.

You’ll remember a few years back the President got pilloried for making a gag video of the search for weapons of mass destruction.  CNN’s 2004 report:

During the annual Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner this week, Bush presented a slide show of quirky photographs from inside the White House. In one, the president is looking under furniture in the Oval Office.

“Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere,” Bush joked. “Nope, no weapons over there … maybe under here?”

Naturally, the gag was roundly booed — not in the Washington Hilton ballroom (I was there and no one seemed to object at time of delivery), but in the days of chatter and microscopic dissection afterward.

These days, however, it looks like Bush is taking his Iraq comedy in a different direction.

Here’s the President at the American Legion convention:

It’s going to take time for the recent progress we have seen in security to translate into political progress. In short, it makes no sense to respond to military progress by claiming that we have failed because Iraq’s parliament has yet to pass every law it said it would.

The American people know how difficult democracy can be. Our own country has an advanced and sophisticated political system in place. Yet even we can’t pass a budget on time — and we’ve had 200 years of practice.

Attaboy!  Take yourself out of the joke and replace with Congress.  Third party/surrogate punchline — that’s basic comedy writing there, mister!  Congress is a  perfect all-purpose punchline, and a golden choice for trying out  new Iraq jokes.

You don’t have to be a Michael Brown fan or foe to recognize an easy political applause line.

In this case, by John Edwards:

As president, Edwards will help New Orleans get back on his feet by … Passing “Brownie’s Law,” so agencies like FEMA get the job done: Edwards will enact a new requirement - “Brownie’s Law” - ensuring that senior political appointees actually are qualified to perform the job to which they are appointed. Brownie’s Law will require that heads of executive agencies and other senior officials have demonstrated qualifications in the field related to their job.

Brown’s response?  Check out this zinger in today’s Washington Post:

“John Edwards took one of the most hollow cheap shots that anybody can take,” Brown said. He noted that the bills Congress passed last year to strengthen FEMA staffing would not preclude him from assuming the leadership role he had.

“I qualify under their standards,” he said. “I started as general counsel and worked my way up the ladder. If John Edwards wants to play politics over this, then he could have voted against me when he was in the Senate.”

Ouch!

Brown hasn’t had many rhetorical victories the last two years — but score this one for the ex-FEMA chief.

While Larry Craig makes it clear that “I am not gay.  I never have been gay,” it’s worth considering the next big Republican event to occur in the Minneapolis airport — the mass arrival next year of delegates to the Republican National Convention.  Wonder how Craig’s personal preference of a “wide stance” will play in a party of a “big tent.”

The new issue of Weekly Standard picks up this charming item from Entertainment Weekly:

“Of all the things that fill a filmmaker with dread, huge applause at the end of a test screening isn’t usually one of them. But director Peter Berg started to worry when he showed his new movie, The Kingdom, to an audience in California farm country. About two hours into the high-voltage political thriller–about a group of FBI operatives (played by Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Chris Cooper, and Jason Bateman) investigating a terrorist attack in Saudi Arabia–the packed house went completely bonkers, erupting in cheers when the Americans gun down a group of jihadists. Most directors would have started popping the champagne. But Berg was thoroughly freaked. ‘I was nervous it would be perceived as a jingoistic piece of propaganda, which I certainly didn’t intend,’ says the actor-turned-director, hunched over an outdoor table at a shabby Santa Monica coffeehouse. ‘I thought, Am I experiencing American bloodlust?’ ”

Political trivia lovers should be on heightened state of alert as the Larry Craig story develops.

Why?  Because if Craig holds onto the seat and wins reelection next year then serves an additional full term, he’d become the longest-serving member of Congress ever from Idaho.

Who currently holds the title?

The incredbily illustrious and fascinating Sen. William Borah, who served 33 years in the early part of the last century.

Borah may not be well known now, but during his time he had a huge impact on politics and policy — particularly foreign relations.

Here’s a taste, from Time magazine in 1926:

Mr. Borah: “The Senator is preaching the doctrine of Trotsky here in the Senate of the United States!”
Mr. Bruce: “Oh, no.”
Mr. Borah: “Yes, the Senator is; he is preaching anarchy.”
Mr. Bruce: “It is not the Senator from Maryland, but the Senator from Idaho, who wishes us to recognize the Soviet government.”
Mr. Borah: “I do. I think it would be really an example for us, the way we are pursuing things in this country at this time. I think we could learn lessons from them.”

Borah, by the way, was a Republican.

And another peek into Borah history…

Subway terrorism? Not since the Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 have we been so frightened.

In D.C., we’re not just on Red Alert.  We’re on Red Line Alert.
From the Washington Post:

Smoke poured into Metro subway tunnels again last night, a day after an unprecedented and unexplained series of such incidents. Baffled officials began to consider the possibility that the events were more than mere accidents.
“This is not normal,” Metro General Manager John B. Catoe Jr. said. “This is highly, highly irregular.”
Asked whether he suspected terrorism, Catoe said no. But he added: “Could it be something else? Everything now is suspicious.”

Hold on.  Metro shouldn’t be so quick to cavalierly rule out terrorism.  That’s just what the evildoers expect — we’d be lulled into a false sense of security.  Then, BAM!, they hit us again, with faulty air conditioning on the buses, taxi cab drivers who scream (code?) into their cell phones, and pot holes so big they’ll need earmarks to fix.

Time to remember simpler, happier times in Washington …

Michael Vick today:

I’m upset with myself, and, you know, through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that’s the right thing to do as of right now.

Ah, cloaking himself in the deity.  How bold.  But more to the point, was Vick speaking in code?  God spelled backward, of course, is dog.  Perhaps he should seek their forgiveness as well.

Try as we might, it’s just so difficult to understand what the Democrats are up to with their Florida presidential primary.

Personally, I think they’re fools for wanting to boycott the Sunshine State in late January.   But that’s me.  I’m a fan of heading south for the winter.  I suspect most reporters are pulling for Florida Dems to win the battle so they can set up camp in the Keys.
If the DNC really does pursue a plan for punishment, we may have to ask the Florida experts to read the fine print for us.