Archive for March, 2007

You’ve Never Seen Sausage Sight!

March 31, 2007 at 11:06 pm

Last month an alert, loyal, and quite kosher Extreme Mortman reader brought to our attention Orthodox Jewish anger over Washington-area Dunkin’ Donuts establishments that once were Kosher-certified but had begun offering sausage and bacon.

Sunday’s Washington Post advances the story.

Extreme Mortman doesn’t keep kosher — but we do want to show solidarity with our Orthodox brethren engaged in this epic David and Goliath battle.  So as a symbolic measure, we’ll boycott all doughnuts during Passover.

food & politics

Where Baseball Meets Politics

March 31, 2007 at 10:44 pm

(I originally wrote this as part of a bigger piece for MSNBC two years ago, when the Washington Nationals’ inaugural baseball season began.  Opening Day Sunday prompts me to run parts of it again now)

Even the most singularly focused political junkie must acknowledge the influence of baseball on politics.  President Bush was a managing partner of the Texas Rangers baseball team.  Ronald Reagan used to broadcast and re-enact baseball games on the radio.  Hall-of-fame pitcher Jim Bunning is a U.S. senator.  And who was that sitting next to Hillary Clinton during President Clinton’s 1999 State of the Union Address?  None other than Sammy Sosa, who made a repeat appearance last month in Congress, joining other Major League Baseball star players to discuss the problem of steroid use.  Fortunately for Washington baseball fans, Sosa is Peter Angelos’ problem now.  No wonder with Sosa, the Orioles are so-so.

President Bush this week throws out the opening pitch at RFK Stadium (only D.C. would name its ballpark after an attorney general), an act itself proving the intertwining of baseball and politics.  The president’s pitch resumes a tradition that began with William Howard Taft, who in 1910 tossed to the Senators’ Walter Johnson. (Here’s one for you baseball trivia lovers: Johnson pitched a shutout win, allowing the Philadelphia Athletics just one hit in a 3-0 victory for Washington. This year, the other Philadelphia team, the Phillies, beat Washington on opening day.)

Baseball’s Hall of Fame Web site describes the executive act this way: “The president’s annual appearance at the start of each season symbolically renews the bonds that unite the country, its leaders, and the game — a ceremonial springtime rebirth as America’s National Pastime. For presidents, baseball offers a welcome connection to a wholesome, all-American image.”

Sounds like a State of the Union address. Or the budget request.

Don’t forget: In 2001, President Bush threw out the first pitch at Game Three of the 2001 World Series at Yankee Stadium, weeks after the Sept. 11 attacks.   It was a warm, supportive crowd.  Surely April 14 will be equally friendly to the president — what with all those W’s on everyone’s cap.  But opening day presents this political sub-drama: The Nationals battle the Arizona Diamondbacks. That’s right, Arizona, as in John McCain.

Let there be little doubt who will be in the stands on Opening Day: Politicians.  Lots of politicians.  And the people who lobby politicians.  And the people who donate to them.    And the media celebs who cover them.  Better be careful getting angry at a player or umpire.  Yell out “Get rid of the bum!” and half the crowd will think you’re demanding a recall election.

The Washington Post reported on political and media heavy-hitters angling for the best seats in RFK stadium: “Major League Baseball is returning to Washington after a 34-year absence, but the game of connections and status never left town. So for months, VIPs from business, politics and the media have been working to get choice tickets to Nationals games.”

Yes, along with patriotism, there’s status.  Political status.

“One of the things that Washington has is many people who define themselves as being important,” team President Tony Tavares told the Washington Post about ticket requests. “There are very few people that don’t define themselves as being important in Washington.”

That’s politics for ya.  Everyone’s important.

Of the old Washington Senators, it used to be said: “First in war, first in peace, last in the American League.”  Of our new baseball team we can add, “And always in politics.”

President Bush baseball Washington Nationals By Ricky Carioti, The Washington Post Photo

(Photo Credit: By Ricky Carioti — The Washington Post Photo)

Politics  Washington, DC  sports

Bush Hams It Up Over Pork

March 31, 2007 at 9:43 pm

Credit President Bush with trying out a new weapon against runaway Congressional spending: stand-up comedy.

Here’s Bush earlier this week:

There’s $3.5 million for visitors to tour the Capitol and see for themselves how Congress works.

And here’s Bush in Saturday’s radio address:

The Democrats loaded up their bills with billions of dollars in domestic spending completely unrelated to the war …$74 million for secure peanut storage. I like peanuts as much as the next guy, but I believe the security of our troops should come before the security of our peanut crop.

If Congress keeps spending money this way, the President’s speeches might soon require a two-drink minimum.

Congress  President George Bush

Pelosi’s Road To Damascus

March 30, 2007 at 5:39 pm

No doubting where the White House stands on Nancy Pelosi’s Syria trip.

Dana Perino at today’s White House news briefing:

… we discourage members of Congress to make such visits to Syria. This is a country that is a state sponsor of terror, one that is trying to disrupt the Siniora government in Lebanon, and one that is allowing foreign fighters to flow into Iraq from its borders. And so we don’t think it’s productive to go to Syria and try to — well, I don’t know what she’s trying to accomplish

and

… we don’t think it’s a good idea. We think that someone should take a step back and think about the message that it sends, and the message that it sends to our allies. I’m not sure what the hopes are to — what she’s hoping to accomplish there. I know that Assad probably really wants people to come and have a photo opportunity and have tea with him, and have discussions about where they’re coming from, but we do think that’s a really bad idea.

Perino continues to show backbone on fighting the war on terrorism.

White House  Congress  terrorism  foreign policy

Murtha, Wind, And Fire

March 30, 2007 at 2:34 pm

John Murtha CNN

Congress  terrorism  Iraq

That’s All Israel Needs, More Speakers

March 30, 2007 at 1:08 pm

The Jewish Telegraphic Agency reports Nancy Pelosi is in Israel.

Since we’re approaching Passover, and since Pelosi seems to travel only to raise money for the Democratic Party, it seems we might soon learn of the first-ever Seder fundraiser. A thousand shekels per Seder plate? Top Dem donors get their photo taken with Elijah? The ten plagues sponsored by the trial lawyers?

Congress

Loved Frank Ahrens piece in the Washington Post today: “Post Offers Rewards Program”:

The Washington Post is launching a consumer-rewards program — similar to those long employed by credit card companies — designed to help stem sliding circulation and drive readers to its advertisers.

The program, called PostPoints, begins today and will award both subscribers and non-subscribers points that can be redeemed for a variety of products, including food and airline miles.

Those sound like nice treats, but frankly I’d be looking for something a bit more substantial from the paper.  Like, if you earn enough reward points, the Post puts you on a Pulitzer Prize winning investigative team.  Or the Post serializes your upcoming book starting with the Sunday front page.  Or you can become an unnamed senior official speaking on background.  Or Howard Kurtz qoutes you talking about the daunting new 24/7 news cycle.

But why knock it?  Today Extreme Mortman is taking the Post’s lead and offering a Rewards Program for our loyal readers.  Read this blog and we’ll give you a complimentary non-sequitir knock-knock joke.

Today’s offering:

Knock knock.

Who’s there.

Plummeting newspaper subscription rates and advertising revenue.

Plummeting newspaper subscription rates and advertising revenue who?

Plummeting newspaper subscription rates and advertising revenue I just flew in from Los Angeles and boy are my arms tired from the turbulence.

A gift from us to you.  Thanks for reading.

Washington Post

Conservatives To Olbermann: Booooooooo!

March 30, 2007 at 8:51 am

The Examiner’s fabulous Yeas & Nays column lists winners of the “DisHonor Awards” given out at the Media Research Center’s 20th Anniversary Gala held last night at the Grand Hyatt Washington. 

Extreme Mortman attended the dinner and got a particular kick out of this winner:

Katie Couric: “A passionate student of history, Condi Rice believes turmoil often precedes periods of peace and stability. And she rejects the notion that the U.S. is a bully, imposing its values on the world.”
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice: “What’s wrong with assistance so that people can have their full and complete right to the very liberties and freedoms that we enjoy?”
Couric to Rice: “To quote my daughter, ‘Who made us the boss of them?’”

But the real story of last night is the loud round of boos Keith Olbermann earned every time his name was mentioned or a clip of him was shown.  My Jewish brethren might compare it to the racket we make every time Haman’s name (boo!) is said during Purim.

Keith might not have won an award last night, but he sure earned Worst Person On A Grand Hyatt TV Screen recognition.

Let’s keep that our little secret.

Keith Olbermann

TV celebrities

Dana Perino Passes The Helen Thomas Test

March 29, 2007 at 3:31 pm

Dana Perino starts up right where Tony Snow left off — not ceding an inch to Helen Thomas.

From today’s White House press briefing:

MS. PERINO: Helen.
Q I have two questions on the Middle East. Has the President been in touch with King Abdullah on his critical comments that we’re wrong to be in Iraq?
MS. PERINO: Not that I’m — no. The President only spoke to President Roh this morning, of South Korea. There have been no other calls that I know of.  Let me just remind you of something I said this morning, which is the United States and Saudi Arabia cooperate on a wide number of issues. It is not accurate to say that the United States is occupying Iraq. We are there under –
Q It is not right to say we’re occupying Iraq –
MS. PERINO: That’s right.
Q — with 150,000 troops there?
MS. PERINO: Helen, we are there at the invitation of the sovereign government of Iraq that was democratically elected –
Q Did we invade that country?
MS. PERINO: We were there under the U.N. Security Council resolution, and we are there now at the — I think one of the things to point out — and I think somebody brought up the Talabani comments this morning — is that he was talking about the initial when we — initially when we went in, of establishing a coalition provisional authority, rather than an Iraqi provisional authority. And we were there –
Q Did we have a right to go in?
MS. PERINO: We were there under a U.N. mandate, yes.

White House  terrorism  foreign policy  White House press corps  Iraq

Wonkette takes a shot at Extreme Mortman’s old stomping and happy hour grounds, the glorious American institution known as the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development and Arts and Sciences.

Wonkette’s tale is funny, but funnier still is this greatest HUD anecdote ever.

From the June 19, 1981 New York Times:

President Reagan was making his way down a line of mayors visiting the White House, shaking hands, when he came to Samuel R. Pierce Jr., his Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.
“Hello, Mr. Mayor,” Mr. Reagan said to Mr. Pierce.

Sam Pierce

political junkie

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