Hard not to laugh — and perhaps sigh in relief? — reading today’s Washington Times on what a Democratic takeover of the House would look like.  Excerpts:

Mrs. Pelosi has already moved to protect herself from Mr. Hoyer by privately encouraging another conservative Democrat — Rep. John P. Murtha of Pennsylvania — to announce earlier this year he will run for the party’s No. 2 position if Democrats gain control of the chamber. Mr. Murtha, who is conservative on many issues but has lately become a hero of the left for demanding that troops be withdrawn from Iraq, is considered a formidable challenger.

[Democratic Rep.] Gene Taylor of Mississippi: “I still wish Jack Murtha would run for speaker. He’s pro-gun, pro-life, a real conservative.”

Let me get this straight: after 12 years out of power, Democrats want Murtha lead their party?  It’s enough to make a conservative Republican say, Tom Delay who?

UPDATE:  Robert Novak reports in his Oct. 21-22 Inside Report:

Nancy Pelosi is not expected to actively support her longtime ally, Rep. John Murtha, in his bid to become majority leader if Democrats win control of the House.  Pelosi’s non-support would guarantee election of her rival, Rep. Steny Hoyer, as the House’s No. 2 Democrat while she becomes speaker without opposition.  Murtha had strongly supported Pelosi in her 2001 victory over Hoyer to enter the party leadership.

Hotsoup is only one day old, but Extreme Mortman’s New Media Strategies colleague Jon Eick has already unlocked the code: How to get from Hotsoup to Missile Command in just eight steps — and still get the Missile Command high score.

Here now, revealed for the first time ever, is how Jon did it:
 
1. Open Hotsoup
2. Click on Hot issues and see this about Lance Armstrong: “Lance thinks health care is a bigger issue than war. Do you?”
3. Pretty much agree with Lance that health care is a big issue.  Maybe not bigger than war, but hey, who wants to pick a fight with Lance?
4. Click on the Polls page
5. Wait in frustration
6. Attempt to click to participate in a poll on national security
7. Suddenly appear on a Commodore 64-style menu screen for Missile Command
8. Play Missile Command until high score is achieved

Can anyone top that?  We dare you.

In the Los Angeles Times, this correction …

Gay Republicans: An article in Section A on Wednesday about friction in the Republican Party between gays and religious conservatives said Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) had a campaign manager who is gay. The Allen staff member who is gay is his communications director.

…is right above this one:

Wesley Snipes indictment: A Business section article Wednesday about the indictment of Wesley Snipes on tax fraud charges gave two ages, 42 and 44, for the actor. Snipes is 44.

Fact checking?  Out.  Multiple choice?  In.

From today’s White House news briefing with press secretary Tony Snow:

Q: The Tet Offensive was successful for the Viet Cong and the Vietnamese in the –

MR. SNOW: It was successful from a propaganda point of view, as history has subsequently demonstrated. The negative reports were wrong –

and

Q: The Washington Times says in a front-page story today that the administration is preparing for a “course correction.”

MR. SNOW: That’s a bunch of hooey. I mean, it seems to be a collection of actually old hooey brought into a piece of new hooey. (Laughter.)

and

You’ve got Bill Clinton running around and campaigning for people. Does that mean Democrats are suddenly worried?

We interrupt the coverage of the wacky world of politics and media to bring you this important announcement — a Kosher Advisory/Alert released yesterday by the Orthodox Union’s (OU) Kosher Division

Pocahontas Pork and Beans in Tomato Sauce
 
Brands:
Pocahontas
 
Products:
Pork and Beans in Tomato Sauce- Food Service (#10 can)
 
Company:
Progressive Group Alliance Inc.

Issue:
This product mistakenly bears an unauthorized symbol. The product is being withdrawn from the marketplace.

So many directions to go for the punchline on this — so let me appeal only to readers with small kids:

No word on whether we can eat the Beauty and the Ham, The Sleeping Beauty Shrimp, or The Little Mermaid That Couldn’t Chew Cud.

From Sen. Larry Craig’s website (yes, that’s Paul Shaffer on piano).

House Majority Whip Roy Blunt has a “list of the bills most likely to be championed by committee chairmen in a Pelosi-led House of Representatives,” calling it “great fodder for the latenight talk show hosts if it weren’t true. … House Democrats plot to establish a Department of Peace, raise your taxes, and minimize penalties for crack dealers.  The difference couldn’t be starker.”

A few Extreme Mortman favorites from the list:

• Expand Medicare to Include Diapers — H.R. 1052: Barney Frank (D-MA) supports Medicare coverage of adult diapers.
• Federal Regulation of Restaurant Menus — H.R. 5563: Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) and 25 Democratic cosponsors authorize federal regulation of the contents of restaurant menus.
• Voting Rights for Criminals - H.R. 1300: John Conyers (D-MI) and 32 Democratic cosponsors, and H.R. 663: Charlie Rangel (D-NY) and 28 Democratic cosponsors would let convicted felons vote.
• Gas Stamps — H.R. 3712: Jim McDermott (D-WA) and eight Democratic cosponsors want a “Gas Stamps” program similar to the Food Stamps program to subsidize the gasoline purchases of qualified individuals.

Blunt’s release also points out that Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-FL) could take over as House Intellgience Committee chairman.  Which would lead to one heckuva political trivia question:  Name the only Representative to be impeached and convicted by Congress — with his own party in the majority, no less — then rise to be a Committee chair.  That’s right, Alcee Hastings.

Drudge: “Peacock at Slaughter: New Round Of Job Cuts Hit Network.”

AP:  “NBC Universal plans to cut US$750 million in operating expenses by the end of 2007 by eliminating employees.”

Hollywood Reporter: ” …layoffs, which could number into the hundreds…”

MSNBC: “…big changes for NBC News and MSNBC-TV, including job losses.”

Broadcasting & Cable: “NBC Universal employees are bracing for the worst.”

Firing people in time for Christmas.  Nice touch.  Who will be Keith Olbermann’s Worst Person In The World tonight – Jeff Zucker?

Hot off the Vietnam-esque quag-wire:

Tom Friedman: “What we’re seeing in Iraq seems like the jihadist equivalent of the Tet offensive.”

Tony Snow:  “I think Friedman may be right, but we’ll have to see.”

ABC News:  President Bush said in a one-on-one interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos that a newspaper column comparing the current fighting in Iraq to the 1968 Tet offensive in Vietnam, which was widely seen as the turning point in that war, might be accurate.  Stephanopoulos asked whether the president agreed with the opinion of columnist Tom Friedman, who wrote in The New York Times today that the situation in Iraq may be equivalent to the Tet offensive in Vietnam almost 40 years ago. “He could be right,” the president said, before adding, “There’s certainly a stepped-up level of violence, and we’re heading into an election.”

Washington Post:  Stephanopoulos asked Bush whether he agreed with New York Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman, who wrote that the real “October surprise” of this campaign season is what “seems like the jihadist equivalent of the Tet offensive.” Bush nodded. “He could be right.”

Consider, please, the headline, “Reid plans to amend ethics form on land sale”.

Amend ethics? Is there any place other than Washington where you can amend your ethics — and do it through a government form?

Next up: I’d like to amend my conscience.  Got the paperwork?