That’s what Danny Glover says in all his Lethal Weapons films.  So imagine our Extreme excitement to read this flash on The Hill website:

“Famed film actor Danny Glover will join Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) at a press conference this afternoon in which the congresswoman is expected to speak in person for the first time about her tussle Wednesday with a U.S. Capitol Police officer.McKinney allegedly punched the officer during an incident at an entrance to the Longworth House Office Building. She issued a statement later that day apologizing for the incident.”

No word on whether Mel Gibson will smack himself in the head with a cell phone.

Here’s the ultimate evidence that George Mason University’s basketball team has reached Redskins-like status in the nation’s capital — GMU President Alan Merten was featured on C-SPAN’s “Washington Journal” this morning.  What a delight to hear Brian Lamb talk NCAA b’ball.

Merten said getting into the Final Four ranks as one of the three great moments in GMU history — the other two being the Nobel Prizes his professors have won.  And get this — he also said GMU ranks in the top five for google searches.

So, with C-SPAN as our cover, and as all the signs in Northern Virginia say today — Go Mason!

Check out the April issue of Washingtonian magazine. A mail-in ballot card for voting for best of Washington. Among the categories: Best local blogger.

You know what to do — vote Extreme Mortman.

What’s in it for you? By sending in your ballot, you’ll be eligible for a drawing to win a free dinner for two at Cafe Oggi, McCormick& & Schmick’s, M&S Grill, or Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse & Wine Bar. What a deal! So pick up a copy of Washingtonian, write in Extreme Mortman for best local blogger (by May 1), and sit back and wait for your winnings.

It’s that simple. It’s that fun. It’s that extreme.

At last year’s Radio-TV Correspondents Dinner, VP Cheney had killer material.  Subbing for President Bush, who was in Rome for the papal funeral, Cheney said: “I’m not into funny.”   He described ”a strange sensation in my chest.  Lynne told me, ‘Dick, that’s called laughing.’”

At last night’s dinner, filling in for the President a second straight year, Cheney was far less funny, and far more predictable.  He went back to that comedy crutch that President Bush has used at these dinners — slide shows.  That easy-way out gimmick has run its course — and is hardly funny anymore.  Perhaps the Radio-TV Correspondents Dinner is diving toward B-level status, leaving the “A” material and “A” talent to the April White House Correspondents Dinner.  Next month Stephen Colbert performs.  I can’t even remember the name of the guy who did it last night.

Recommendation for the White House gagsters — shake up your joke-writing operation, just like you’re currently shaking up the front office.  Bring in new talent, new blood.  If all the good jokers are  headed for cushy comedy gigs on K Street, find new ones.  Enough with the slide shows.  In fact, take the slide shows — please.  We want 15 minutes of  brilliant stand-up — no audio/visual assistance anywhere.

Perhaps the GOP’s top comedy writers are hiding in a secret undisclosed location.  Anyone checked the comedy caves? 

(By the way, the name of last night’s comedian  is Frank Caliendo.  To see a  clip of him in action, go to the great website politicalhumor.about.com.)

Extreme Mortman recently put the spotlight on the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s political blog reading habits, and its own wonderful blog Openers.  We checked out the site today and saw this fascinating item, quoted here in its entirety:

Looming over Tuesday’s long series of Ohio House and Senate hearings on sex-offender legislation was the huge shadow of Fox News Rottweiler Bill O’Reilly.

For the better part of the month, O’Reilly has whipped legislators and politicians pandering for votes into a froth by crusading for the impeachment of Franklin County Common Pleas Judge John Connor, who sentenced a child molester to probation.

One of Connor’s colleagues, Franklin County Common Pleas Judge Dan Hogan, was repeatedly asked about O’Reilly during his testimony in opposition to the mandatory-sentencing provisions in some of the bills. It was a topic Hogan addressed against his will.

Asked in a Senate committee what he would say to O’Reilly if he went on his show, Hogan hissed, “I wouldn’t do it.” When Rep. Danny Bubp, a former Adams County judge, again asked Hogan the what-would-you-say-to-Bill question during a hearing in the House, Hogan deadpanned: “First, I’d ask him not to interrupt me — which he wouldn’t do.”

Wow.  Bill O’Reilly dominates conversation in both chambers of the Ohio legislature.  Now that’s clout.  And a great pickup by the Plain Dealer. 

A fun side note to Josh Bolten becoming White House chief of staff.  The JTA’s Matthew Berger points out that Bolten is the second Jewish chief of staff — the first being Kenneth Duberstein, chief of staff to Ronald Reagan.  No Democratic president has had a Jewish chief of staff.

According to Berger’s story, “Colleagues and friends say Bolten has been vocal about his religion and willing to participate in Jewish events at the White House. He frequently has been seen at White House Chanukah candle lightings, and participated in a Megillah reading at the White House during Purim this year.”  And at the White House, “he would bring dreidels and chocolate gelt to senior staff meetings at Chanukah, and has a mezuzah on his White House door.”

William Daroff, vice president for public policy at United Jewish Communities, says in the story: “Since the beginning of this administration, he has been a senior-level force for making sure the Jewish community had a voice at the very highest levels of the administration.”

All of which makes us look forward to this year’s White House Winter Holiday seasonal greeting cards.  Perhaps they’ll call the holiday what it truly is — Chanukah.

When we last checked in with America’s acting moral compass George Clooney, he was telling the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences (he must be in the Sciences division) that Hollywood is best when it makes socially responsible movies, defined on his terms.

Clearly it’s time for a Clooney update.  As luck would have it, we saw mentioned in this article that Mr. Message Film has just signed on to tackle more morally and ethically provocative material in a movie called, um, er, well, it’s called “Ocean’s 13.”

Ah yes, Hollywood leads the country by example when it milks a concept a third time.  Like “Policy Academy 3,” “Escape from the Planet of the Apes,” and “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.”  In this case, it’s more like “George Clooney Beyond Plunderdome.”

Godspeed Mr. Clooney.  Teach the children well.

Lyn Nofziger is being mourned and remembered in political and Reaganite circles around the country.

Here’s what the Washington  Post says in its obit:

“An offbeat figure who wore Mickey Mouse ties with the knot pulled down, Mr. Nofziger won a reputation as a shrewd, two-fisted political battler, who blended loyalty, cantankerousness and pungent phrasemaking. He was known as one of the key staff members involved in Reagan’s rise from the California governor’s chair to the pinnacle of American power.”

Nofziger was part of the old-style way we used to do politics in this town.  But to his credit, he also embracied the new ways — like blogging.

Yes, living to the age of 81, he had a website:LynNofziger.com.

And in the true spirit of opinion blogging, he was feisty until the end.  Here’s his final posting on his “Musings”:

Nov. 29, 2005–The War Against Christmas seems to have picked up a couple of new recruits named George and Laura Bush.  I am one of X thousands of Americans who is on what used to be the president’s Christmas Card list .  As a result, a card from George and Laua arrived in my mail today.  Needless to say I was pleased and honored.  IAfter opening it, I was- and am—also disappointed.  The card was not a Christmas card; it was a holiday card.  It was lovely but it wassn’t Cristmas-y.

Now that was Lyn Nofziger.

Great headline: “Carter Dishes on ‘Zippy,’ ‘Purple Steve’”

It’s above a story in Broadcasting & Cable mag that begins this way:

When New York Times reporter Bill Carter’s hotly anticipated book on the TV industry comes out this spring, don’t expect to see NBC Universal exec Jeff Zucker lining up for a signed copy at the book party. 

Instead, look for CBS Corp.’s Les Moonves and ex-ABC President Lloyd Braun to lead the toasts.

The story by Joel Topcik says that Moonves calls Zucker, “Zippy.”  And that “Zucker is characterized as failing upward while NBC’s prime time schedule unraveled. Agents complain that he was inattentive during meetings, focusing more on the TV sets in his office than on the major writers pitching him their series.”

And who is  “Purple Steve”?  It’s ABC Entertainment President Steve McPherson — an agent coined the nickname because “when he got angry, he would get so red in the face.”

Wonder if he was zippy about doing that.

One word on George Mason University’s upset of the University of Connecticut in the NCAA basketball tournament. The Final Four contender has proved to be a scrappy upstart in the high stakes, big bucks competition. It’s also a scrappy upstart in academia: its work advancing free-market capitalism and libertarian economics is legendary. GMU President Alan G. Merten says: “A good idea—coupled with private support—can grow to have an impact across the nation and around the world.” Yes, when a school whose professors are guest hosts for Rush Limbaugh beat old-economy state-run enterprises, capitalists everywhere should take notice.

(Footnote: check out Reason.com for interviews with GMU University economist Vernon Smith and GMU economist Tyler Cowen.)